Tuesday, December 27, 2005

watched Broken flowers today with Pete, was great in it's character studies, long and.. quite intense.

Ohhhh and trailer to Brokeback mountain looked very interesting, got to see that.
I wonder if Arial has the book...deb?
Is it me or do people from adelaide speak differently. the 'ah' vowel is americanised to an 'a' as in , pass=par-ss for sydney siders pass= pa-ss, the 'a' sounding american.
maybe it's just me...

I have to start cutting back on smoking, it made a bunch of old women at the table 2 meters away start coughing and spluttering in Potts point...maybe that's a good thing.

Pete went into a sex shop and bought rude playing cards.

Saturday, December 24, 2005

birth - "study of the crucifixion"

Beautiful glittering purses, tea in an oversized bag and coffee on the edge of the sidewalk.. thanks for christmas eve pete!

I'm listening to sarah vaughn, they played ray charles loud at Dean's whilst i sip peppermint tea.

Hope you have a happy christmas.

Friday, December 23, 2005

Prada summer '06

Dior Homme summer '06

Just some fashion direction for Pete for what i saw on Thursday was slightly disturbing.
I went out to Rhodes, this new suburb built on a toxic waste dump once was the Olympic village to do lunch with dear old pete.
Lunch was great except for the food, it was the only place that was serving alchol so, it just had to be but fun never the less catching up .."DING!!!"

Afterwards i went into an Ikea store located at the other end of this, glasshouse complex only to be lost in there for 4hrs carrying 6 bowls and a 3 pack scissors set.

You know life just doesn't get better than being lost in an Ikea store.

Anyway, later in the evening had dinner with Andrew,Tim, and three other people i hadn't met before and now, forgotten their names. Dined at Burton&Forbes, a newish resteraunt.
Roast duck with apples and walnuts was quite delicious.

Thus was my adventurous thursday, from one end of the city to the other, from 'emo-ish' to Gucci-army browns.

Sunday, December 18, 2005


It has been an artistic hell-hole lately, nothing to do, nothing to write about.

However, i have started on my 'study of the crucifixion' canvas, at the moment it looks like a purple blob, finalised christmas shopping, have to wrap those presents though... and i went out clubbing last night.

I was feeling particularly dis-interested in it all but wanted to just escape for a bit amongst the electro-inspired tribal beats, gin filled euphoria. I was hoping i could observe Pete squirming in the primal environment of Pheonix but he was a few meters away from a cafe i was rendevouing which lead him somewhere along oxford street and then back into hyde park being harrassed by random strangers.

Anyway, so descending the underworld of clubland detaching myself from this epileptic world and threw myself round for 3 hrs.
I've made it 4a.m my cut off point because i want to be presentable on sundays for cafe society.
Ben drayton took us on a peculiar trip with forrays into funk, electro, hip hop but kept it solid on the tribal front. At times he lost us, so much for artists.
I'm interested in the Thursday nights there, "minimalist german electronica" can you imagine the severity?
On new years mandy rollins (omg God is a woman) will be doing 10 till 10 set. Now she's juicy-tribal.. it's like having an orgasm, continuously, popular with lesbians however since it will be a public holiday the next day... i think it will be very popular.

Whilst thrashing about last night i accidentally burped in the face of a really cute guy.

Today was, difficult.
I limped round latteria, stanley street cafes and helped andrew wrap some christmas presents, i accidentally wrapped my shoes and spent the whole afternoon looking for them.


I think i'm back.

Thursday, December 15, 2005

Clifford still

"Abstraction allows man to see with his mind what he cannot physically see with his eyes. . . . Abstract art enables the artist to perceive beyond the tangible, to extract the infinite out of the finite. It is the emancipation of the mind. It is an explosion into unknown areas."
Arshile Gorky (1904-1948

Sunday, December 11, 2005

Crop circle device.

What am i doing awake at 9:30am on a sunday?
i can't lay in bed for more than 8 hours now, my back starts to to ache like hell. Yes, even working 15hours is too much for my body.. i'm not meant for work you know.
So this week has been eventful for the first half, with drinks and party poppers. Today i have to head out somewhere west to say goodbye to a dear friend as she is going back to melbourne which reminds me, i have to wrap her gift. I wish i had a gift wrapping section at home like in a dept. store. I'm so not into wrapping.

Thursday, December 08, 2005

Last night was our little christmas get together. Old friends, new friends, bottles of champagne and sake.
We had pre-party drinks at andrews with zoe, augustine, and brendan popping over. We talked about art and the apartment,glass after glass with a few party poppers streaming the air.
Then we had dinner at JuJus till we couldn't eat nor drink anymore, climbing the stairs back up was a challenge. I lost a shoe two-steps from the top, it went tumbling down to the bottom.

I've been listening to Yoko ono lately, 'everyman everywoman' (basement jaxx remix) and studying Jackson pollock.

Sunday, December 04, 2005

I saw something very distressing today.

Please Pete, buy Kate a tube of lipbalm when you get paid.

Coffee and Newtown, shops with Kimono lampshades and a girl with sky-blue eyes lifting a jar of vaseline out of her handbag and applying it to her lips.

Thursday, December 01, 2005

After all this time, finally you can see what i love to do.

It takes me away from everything by taking me to it's core, it's my life-long addiction.

"There is an incredibly brilliant essay written by T.S. Elliot called Tradition and the Individual Talent. His idea is that for something to stand the test of time, to be truly original, it has to fit into the tradition. It's only time that allows you to know whether it really did fit into the tradition. And people trying to be different are never different. It's people who are following their deep interest who discover what's original about the past."

Vivienne Westwood

Wednesday, November 30, 2005

Having finally gotten over the shock of being rejected so quickly by a recruitment/temp agency i'm feeling a little bit vague.
I spent the whole day looking for possible career choices, even applied for a few ,
one was so way out that i said so in the cover letter.
Rejection feeds on our vunerabilities.
Eventually i had a mini-break down and went to bed swirling in an ocean of shadows.
The beauty in anger and fear, it's tannins stinging consciousness it's horrifying yet beautiful.

Then i got out of bed, wrote 3 poems and sent them to italy.

i'll be 32 next year yet still i don't know what i want.

Saturday, November 26, 2005

Things i have to do before Christmas.

Buy something gorgeous for myself , note White picket fence.

Vacuum my room

Do something with my hair, i'm tempted to ask pete to slice it with a razor.

Come up with a new attitude, i'm scaring too many people with the current one ;)

More schemes.

Re-educate my wardrobe. Am currently dying a pair of jeans i have painted with lychee-tea, darken the hue of my shoes, bash-up some shirts.

Get 'The Doors' greatest hits cd.

to believe finally, "nothing is perfection"

Friday, November 25, 2005

Spent thursday out on the town with Pete, running round Gucci and Prada throwing 24karat attitude.
There is nothing wrong with buying jeans at Prada.
I would have if it wasn't for that annoying itallian salesman on speed.
The bland waiter at lindt cafe copped it direct, it's not a good idea to ask what we're doing 5minutes after we had ordered , "CAKE!!" .

I'm so appreciative of Pete not making a fuss over my smoking and even had a few puffs, most impressive.

We managed to get it together at a wonderful Japanese minimalist resteraunt ontop of the Queen victoria building, Japanese minimalist mixed into victoriana, so beguiling. That's when the beautiful Sar-reh joined us, an iranian princess slightly frayed at the edges.
We giggled and bounced about, through dusk at Hyde park into the boho-rock realm of Lounge. There we settled to some more smokes and drinks, a strange conversation with tree on a mobile phone and moments of wildness. Slowly the evening gathered some more exs, friends, people of relative importance all co-joining in a dimly lit evening of paper-thin pizza, fish cakes and more ..drinks.

What happened afterwards i wont elborate for we went our seperate ways and those stories best told by fresh voices however some of us actually went home .

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

I've been listening to The Doors all day today and painted a pair of old jeans.

Realised i need a new digital camera and actually use it so i can print enlarged images.

Damn pixels.

Been spending some time with N. who will be going Melb. soon, i'll miss her and her wacky husband, we are deadly together coming up with the most ridiculous schemes and laughing our heads off.

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Let's not talk about work, it's becoming a farce.

I went into the city before heading into hell to buy some more.. mmm.. cigarillos at a tiny cigar place in the strand owned by the.. cigar nazi.
When i first went there and asked for a dupont she looks me up and down and hands me a softer vanilla flavoured cigarillo and a dutch mini.
"You try this first, this one good"
In my pretentious voice i asked if there were better, havana made , she didn't even batter an eyelid "$25 thanks, why u still standing there?"
But she was right, the vanilla was easy and accessable and the dutch for a dare was, well, very strong and if i couldn't do dutch how am i suppose to do Havana and Cuban?


Today she smiled as i asked for another tin of vanillas, "you like this? good. try this one, very popular"
it's a chcolate flavoured one that's 2cm longer due to a filter.
Did she overheard cafe society talking about some skinny boy smoking cigarillos with bits of tabacco stuck on his lips?

Long and phallic with sweetness of chocolate, i had to use my Tiffany's cotton bag to hold them.

Friday, November 18, 2005


I was told by 'mu hairdressers' to move further away from the seat i sitting at Latteria today because... "your cigar smoke is coming into our shop"
I kind of felt like i was dicrimminated against but then.... do i really care?
Well after 3 cigars later, i moved, onto Pablos vice.

Along the way i bump into my ex with... my best friend.

Had a few more and pineapple/mango juice... it's my little bit of health. And i nearly fell off the chaise, they have a bloody wooden roman-chaise at pablos vice along a steep incline.

Some of my cigar smoke went into their tiny cafe but i didn't get any orders so.. i gave them a generous tip.

The world, it's inhabitants seem so placid and delicious as i trip-a-la-palooza George street, Pitt street hop-scotching through Town hall waving to blue flags of kinokuniya into my favourite crystal shop to be shot with a million rainbow razor blades.

oh..weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.............. kak!

My eyes are bloodshot and lips hungry for more 30 second delay.

Thursday, November 17, 2005

What is your ideal man?

Interesting question and of all things i've asked myself i haven't asked what is my type of man.

I don't know.

Even visually i have trouble focusing on what type i prefer.

I find physical attraction in all races, shapes and sizes except i guess, extremes but then i'm attracted to them psychologically because introversion.

I find vunerability sexy.

Natural , is sexy.

Smells are sexy but not overwhelming. Prefably mixed with non-human smells.

Smell of Brandy is sexy.

Honesty is sexy ? i hope so.

this is stupid, i feel terribly embarrassed.

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

I've been made semi-part-time now.. i don't know what it means except i'll have even more time on my hands.
The new clinic isn't doing so well... it's eating away at profits (moan) so they have decided to cut staff working hours.
I felt quite upset when i heard i was first off the rank considering all the client PR work been done lately, oh well, now i only come in for my clients which means, i don't have to do any other work.
I've had enough of throwing all my energy into the clinic when there's very little credit given, it took me this long to realise it, the rest of the team knew ages ago.

So, anyway it means i can start working on my art projects.
I want to document a friend of mine, greg, who is going to do some sculpture with his welding machine. Hopefully there will be plenty of shirtless hunky male action going on with bits of art but who knows... but i want to document the creative process and how it affects a person. I also need to branch out with my photography , outside controlled environments.
And there's Pete, he will be in sydney and i will try and make him my muse/model.

oh and by the way, i bought 'Little Britain' on dvd.... the gay guy is a killer.

Saturday, November 12, 2005

Talk to me about the meaning of life.....

From roaches to hiccups in sobriety to elementals, perception is swirling up between my lips.

It's a disgusting habit, so is you.

And tomorrow i will sit with you and have political debates and artisitc freewill, an occasional mythology to keep step-ahead.

We become more than imposters but, poorly paid actors drowning in strange verses.

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

Hello i think i love you.

The days are long pointing upward it's apex a long,long sigh.
This moment has passed whilst that moment will never eventuate so what has passed is inhaled for what atomised,
a clever muse.

ergh.. i'm just really bored right now. work has gone slow, spent most of this week calling up old clients.

And it's hot. so bloody hot.

I think i'll go shopping tomorrow, goodnight.

Sunday, November 06, 2005

I felt much better today so i decided to venture out into cafe-land with my new slimmer waistline.
Plopped down at Latteria for peppermint tea and a slice of their uber-banana bread with andrew and decklin.
Although i've heard alot about decklin i've never met him until now and i know why.
He doesn't stop talking about anything. He is one stream of consciousness without the english breeding.
He asked me..."do you have alot of trousers or do u have a mix of shirts and trousers" as i was trying to be cool at white picket fence. I laughed, it was my only reaction i could fathom.
He didn't stop talking till i left andrews yet still i can still hear him waffling on about nothing.

Thank goodness for cigarettes or i would have punched his mouth in.

Other than that,Jae has been posting all these naughty pictures which seem to get me abit hot and bothered.
Being male aint all that great.

Saturday, November 05, 2005

hello stranger

Maybe i need one of these.

I could only work half a day today, actually i should have not worked at all whilst feeling physically detached with lead-infused eyelids. But work (abit) i did.
Don't you wish you had me as an employee?
Yes, i genuinely love what i do and look at my clients as, works in progress, artworks revealed only after removing what is there.

I have a stalker.
He calls me everynight around 11pm and asks me what i'm doing then proceeds to what i wear and which room i'm in.
I ought to be thankful but the novelty is wearing thin so i don't answer any 'private' numbers that ring.
I might have met him once years ago, i vaguely remember but maybe i have just inserted a hopeful image into my head.
Never the less, i'm not amused.

i won't be eating smoked salmon pide' for a while, it made me lose a kilo or two. On the upside i don't get marked when wearing designer pants afterwards.

Friday, November 04, 2005

who the fuck do you think you are?

I've become Princess Margaret, the one with a chip on her shoulder eventually dying soon after dipping her toes into a hot bath.

The man trying to sip his organic fruit juice cough and splatted as i exhaled the heady cigar smoke, they said it would be a "non-offending vanilla scented smoke" so much for being considerate.

There are many reasons why i have started smoking and coffee again, not excuses but reasons best not analysed too harshly. Maybe i actually chose to smoke with the knowlege i have of it and the past experience opposed to childlike curiosity.

Naturally i'm highly strung although when you meet me one would think otherwise.

Work gets stressful eventhough i 'step-out-of-the-box and look at it from an alternate angle" this happens after you've reacted, it's a conscious descision opposed to emotive responce.
The damage is already done.

Seeing a close and vibrant friend living with HIV. His future uncertain yet inevidable questions many decisons i've made and why.

Little brother-like-cousin being diagnosed with schizophrenea and trying to reassure him things will improve.

"i hope they can give me a pill and it will fix it"

"sorry, but that's not how it goes"


Many unfortunate events waiting for a selfish answer to placate or maybe, just maybe i actually enjoy the taste of tobacco.

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

Wrought iron furniture is so yesterday.

Sunday, October 30, 2005

I spent the whole weekend binge-smoking tobacco whether it was smoked via rolled-up paper tubes or narghile laced with strawberry and apple flavors.
Natalie's rooftop apartment. overlooked several sectors of the city and with summer humidity et nicotine we partied the night away.
Charlie, her adorable but very shy husband, smiled and kept the men fueled with cigarettes and spirits whilst natalie ran round in an emerald-fired sheer top that floated between the heady, sexy smoke.
The apt oozed club-luxe stamped with deep fawn leather sofas and chocolate colored cherrywood heavily embellished with a million dairy diamontes and delicate oval canapes, wild mushroom pizettes, grainfed chicken pizettes, vine-ripen tomato brushetta, glowing atlantic salmon salad, multi-leaf salad splashed with village-brought balsamic vinegar, honey dripping baked pastries wrapped round hand-smattered cream, delicate european sandwiches and olives. These were no ordinary olives found in highrise bottles inside supermarket postcodes but perfectly bodied tinged in dead-sea brine , giving when nudged inbetween tongue and teeth.
The women etched sophistication through conversation sharp as their Gucci heels and Louis vuitton epi-leather handbags with an occasional quip
"my 8year old son went into the bathroom last week and set alight my Italian lingerie. I asked him why he said "because i want you to have french ones!!"
The evening drifted back and forth like a moon-drunk tide, drinks came, food nibbled but seldom heard, how does one eat a watercracker without making a noise? culminating in the birthday cake.
Lit by sparklers which reflected shards from double digit carats dripping off ladies ears, necks and ankles an imposing room lit up as if we were inside an exploding chysanthemumn on new years eve. We sang and clapped and then the cake was cut with a swift hush we broke our well rehearsed demeanor succumbing to an exceptionally erotic chocolate mudcake roofed in veils of vanilla icing.
One lady fresh with blonde highlights completely let herself go and spoke of the importance of purchasing multiple gem items.
"if you see a diamond necklace you like then why not have one made of rubies and one of sapphires too, you don't just one handbag do you? ", with chocolate mudcake swarming round the corners of her mouth.
We all agreed.

Friday, October 28, 2005


Why has porn gotten so boring?

Once porn was something that trigged off an adreniline rush, a pulse from one axis to the other resulting in being submersed in a plastic-fantastic world.
Now all i see are shadows knotted upon a meek horizon with the smell of repeation lapping between restless legs.

hmmm another ciggarette please....

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

One more cup of coffee - Bob dylan.

Your breath is sweet
Your eyes are like two jewels in the sky.
Your back is straight, your hair is smooth
On the pillow where you lie.
But I don't sense affection
No gratitude or love
Your loyalty is not to me
But to the stars above.

One more cup of coffee for the road,
One more cup of coffee before I go
To the valley below.

Your daddy he's an outlaw
And a wanderer by trade
He'll teach you how to pick and choose
And how to throw the blade.
He oversees his kingdom
So no stranger does intrude
His voice it trembles as he calls out
For another plate of food.

One more cup of coffee for the road,
One more cup of coffee before I go
To the valley below.

Your sister sees the future
Like your mama and yourself.
You've never learned to read or write
There's no books upon your shelf.
And your pleasure knows no limits
Your voice is like a meadowlark
But your heart is like an ocean
Mysterious and dark.

One more cup of coffee for the road,
One more cup of coffee before I go
To the valley below.

Copyright © 1975 Ram's Horn Music

Friday, October 21, 2005


It hasn't been eventful for me lately, work has been and.. been with new staff (again) and alot of people put on hold disrupting the flow of common existing modalities.

The lady at the very antique store revealed to me she has a "new man in her life" .
Prem at the french patiserrie divulged her new male acquisition.

And i wore skinny black pants with trainers today, i was feeling very last-season.

Wednesday, October 19, 2005


i'm still staring at the computer-generated man.......

Friday, October 14, 2005


if only they made real men as sexy as this
computer-generated one....

hmm i think it's a long time between drinks...

Thursday, October 13, 2005


Such is the joy of working an extra day et extra hours... i can feel my mind going numb.
But the pay is good provided i can save it..
Anyway when i look up at the stars all i can see is the glossy reflection of the ocean.

i should sleep, i have to wake-up at 7 tomorrow but i can't. Maybe i o'd on guarana or that, i'm actaully tired.

I should start writing again, it might improve my, self esteem.

Sunday, October 09, 2005


Ergh.... so early today.. waking up at 8am must never be a sunday activity, i''m sure the governement will have a law against it one day. Had to visit my dead grandmother... it was so windy out there my hair was messed and the incense and burnt bits of gold-paper nuggets flew up into the air and my demeanour was poised.
So we cleaned and made it all shiny again with plastic flowers, "because they last longer".. then headed to an all you can eat buffet.
It was hedious even where there is alot of food from lasgna to fried crab claws to hastily boiled wontons. I just headed for the dessert section and had bowl and bowls of soft-serve ice cream plus sprinkles.
I was so exhausted when i got back i slept and missed the 'paper' exhibiton/runway show at the powerhouse. But anyway,

Friday, October 07, 2005


Met up with Pete today and had great fun.
we hit the cafes and did a little bit of shopping, he's looking cool as ever a-la tokyo mode.

The boy wore paisley over bright modern t-shirt with pointy angsty moccasins, so modern-layered-ethnic. You're saying alot there pete!

Atleast he wont be mistaken for 'emo' that new-wave of angsty teenagers, the ones who are pissed-off via their mobilephones .
A client of mine was telling me about them, then today whilst in the city there were so many...post grung, post goth, post everything... green hair colour and black t-shirts... ahhh... i remember when... no i don't.
I was goth in a ungaro sense.

Sitting in 'the wall cafe' (there's one in melbourne too i think) with pete nibbling on smoked salmon pide we contemplated our ever-evolving lives, hands on chins and looking away from the camera lens... maybe one day we'll find a balance between capitalist comfort and socialist ideals. In the meantime it's slave to the wage which reminds me.. i have to go to bed for tomorrows onslaught.

oh, the singer i was thinking of when we were talking about joni mitchell was actually marianne faithful !, she had a relationship with mick jagger and sang 'ballad of lucy jordan" .. ...

Friday, September 30, 2005


This week has been recovery, recovery from the excess of last saturday and sunday, i can't believe i went to the powerhouse on a hangover. Too much information to digest when all you can think about is smoked ham on geyre cheese.

Rearranged furniture, note to self, avoid moving antique furniture by self because.. it's damn heavy.

Floated around eastgardens and ikea looking for inspiration only to come away with confusing swedish design concepts. When has a piece of milky plastic become a window for wardrobe?

However i did buy some "ultra-shine hair mist" in a glossy orange bottle. I shall use it when i meet Pete for lunch.

i've noticed i'm becoming more non-reactive... a car could crash infront of me these days and i wouldn't bat an eyelid. Just dial 000 whilst making sure my pout is in place. Maybe nothing is new anymore.
This laconica has advantages such as empowering space integration and self fulfilling function rather than procrastinating or avoidance, they go hand in hand don't they. One has a cooler face.

Sunday, September 25, 2005


I went clubbing this weekend.

It's been 3months since i last went and nothing has changed, much.

I had promised yuiji several times that i would go to ARQ with him for a trance-induced-night, laser show, smiley faces and the delusion of drifting off onto kaleidoscope of binary-refraction and electronica.
Since i think this would be his last time in Australia since his boyfriend is inflating ever-so-frequently that we believe he will pop if something sharp comes in contact with him.

So the night started with rearranging andrews apt. living room to accommodate the auto-inflating li-lo.
They are so much fun, i want one.
Whilst rumagin through andrews things for bedsheets, pillow cases etc i discover he uses extra-large sized condoms.
I don't know how to take that as we are purely-platonic and very much non-contact friends. I don't think i have ever hugged him in a happy way or even touched him unlike everyone else.
But anyway that all done i headed out to the midnight shift to meet up with yuji and masa. We hung round like poses rejecting everyone one who even tried to get near us.
hurriedly gym toned boys with generic spikyhaircuts in polotops and grampas emulating in vain.
We just don't do shift patrons.
When we all had enough (when everybody had enough of us) we left for trance-heaven. Through the auto-revolving doors which i once slammed into the non-revolving section bouncing off and onto the ground in my early years of frenzism. We crossed the dance floor, we climbed the neon lined steps to the vip upstairs, we weren't vip but we just walk past the security.
It's all about the attitude.
You know it works when security welcomes u rather than wave a metal detector over you.
We were too scary to question.
We strutted, sat, then strutted some more.. and descended into the chill-out 3rd floor which was filled with... fat girls in what best described as rape of glomesh and nylon.
"Too many fat girls" yuiji cried as he sat down with a ciggerette.
Masa and i wiggled abit only to have a fat girls arse smack right into my thigh. "what the..."
i looked at her like she had taken holiday snaps at aushwitz.
She ran away..lol. Literally.
Mr young-cute-blonde-barman came over to ask yuiji to smoke upstairs... he was holding semi-empty glass of beer collected on one of his rounds.. yuiji drew one deep nicotine hit and dropped it into the semi-empty beer glass got up and walked off.
We walked off like we own the place, such posers, such insolence....in the lobby we giggled like little japanese school girls.

I stayed for an hour... wiggled abit to some house-mix..trance is dead at ARQ. We were very disappointed. I can only take so much of Britney remixes.
So i left there at 1:30 and headed down to my fave pheonix. It was packed as usual..and yes.. the usual people all shirtless, on-heat and throwing themselves around to electro-tribal and abit of retro-remix, the women too.
Managed to drag myself back to andrews round 4... unwound then...floated on a velvet-lined cloud amongst old-library card shelves and restored jet-black fireplace, deepcaramel wild oakboards and a huge brown spider up on the left hand corner.

I slept well.

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

conv. 134

aitai: hi
eucharist: geez ur in boston
aitai: yeah but i like gam and cam and cyber
eucharist: rofl
eucharist: congratulations
aitai: r u top bottom?
eucharist: both
aitai: wow..
aitai: vers btm here..
aitai: have u topped white guy?
eucharist: lol
eucharist: have i>?
eucharist: i topped everything
aitai: hot
aitai: how big is ur cock?
eucharist: huh.. i havent measured it
aitai: oh i have to measure it in person? :)
eucharist: yer..fly over
aitai: have u ever been verbal top?
eucharist: ???
eucharist: what on earth is that
aitai: telling him to suck u.. if he likes it.. if he
wants it.. etc
eucharist: er.. no.. i just do em
eucharist: its not like im gonna write a book

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

conversation 387

warrantripley: hi eu, how r u?
eucharist: hihi
eucharist: tired as fuck
eucharist: u?
warrantripley: really?
warrantripley: how come?
warrantripley: no, I've got plenty of energy hehe
eucharist: luckty u
eucharist: just back from work
warrantripley: I know-wow-u work late!!
eucharist: ur 86?
eucharist: gezus christ
warrantripley: hey-u r tall for an asian guy-I'm
190cms too
eucharist: ur 86
warrantripley: 44
eucharist: close enough
eucharist: lol why u meet alot of short asains
warrantripley: haha thanks for that
eucharist: they come up to ur knees
warrantripley: u could say a good height
warrantripley: LOL
eucharist: whay do u hav so much energy
warrantripley: just a guy that has lots of stamina i
guess-how come u work so late?
eucharist: well its been a quiet night on the wall
eucharist: not many punters
warrantripley: er right
eucharist: so what do u do
eucharist: besides short asians
warrantripley: well I could say I used to be
commerical too.....
warrantripley: actually I like to do tall asians
eucharist: is that a hint?
warrantripley: work in admin
warrantripley: could be
eucharist: admin is good
warrantripley: cute glasses are a plus too
warrantripley: what do u do when not on the
eucharist: crotchet
warrantripley: ok, a comedian
eucharist: lol
warrantripley: hooker is better
eucharist: have u seen an asian comedian
eucharist: lol
warrantripley: nope
eucharist: yer cheap asian boy for gwm
warrantripley: theres always a first time
eucharist: loll
warrantripley: well, theres plenty of those too
eucharist: they going for a song in bali these
warrantripley: so u work in a restaurant?
eucharist: rofl
eucharist: in a laundramat
warrantripley: thats different!
warrantripley: u look too intellectual to me-
warrantripley: the glasses are a give away
warrantripley: probabaly a film student
eucharist: its just the glasses..lol
eucharist: im just another cheap asian whore
standing round the shift
eucharist: waiting for a free meal
warrantripley: haha
eucharist: kakaka
warrantripley: not expensive?
eucharist: nah.. a vb
eucharist: and im yours
warrantripley: hmmm, easy?
eucharist: yes...asians and alcohol
eucharist: u know the deal
warrantripley: how about a hard cock instead
eucharist: how about a small dog thrown in as
bonus extra
warrantripley: nah, dont do kink
eucharist: ppity
warrantripley: just cute asian butt
eucharist: i like little dogs
warrantripley: no doubt u can find it here
eucharist: they vibrate like crazy when u
sufforcate them
warrantripley: good luckhaha ok
eucharist: ok

Monday, September 19, 2005


Poor J. it's been 3months or so now but he doesn't seem to be able to get over the relationship that didn't really happen. Apparently he's in rehab. i doubt it.
I guess i did like him, he was the first guy i met who actually had quality furnishings and beefy body opposed to fat or ambiguous. WHatever.

Had anothe rmeeting with op.manager, she seems keen to address issues which is good and listen to what we have to say. My hours may increase..i don't know... we'll see. Either way i don't care.

Had a big chat with bernie tonight whilst doing her chin, she's off to france to persue her french lover.. hahaha.. fantastic... i'll miss her as she is one of the more fun clinets...loud..real and genuine.
Enjoy your baguette, missy.

i have a bikini and ear tomorrow.....

Thursday, September 15, 2005


i found this quite amusing, note the facial expressions.....

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

Things i been doin..

- buying DVDs... roman polanski...drifted away ... kill bill v1....colour purple.. angel at my table...head on....aviator etc...

-finally watched 'mysterious skin' it's over rated although the percpective is unique. why it got an r-rating i never know... maybe it's the violence plus sex scene opposed to just sex or just mindless violence..

-ate a bad peanut m&m whilst watching 'mysterious skin' but luckily made it back in time. i'm svelte again, yay.

- Actually buying books when in bookshop rather than walking round looking pretentiously intellectual.. i bought and reading Edgar allan poe, ellen feldman (the boy who loved anne frank) and Armand marie leroi (mutants) .

- scared a goodlooking guy whilst walking past in newtown today. I was walking as i do.. towards the dendy and he comes along..mmm then he cowers, yes, cowers behind this girl as i walk past.
It may be my prada glasses..it may be my brooding slightly-gothic-slightly adrogenous oblivious-chic....whatever.
but i scared that little man, unintentionally.

- have a facination with greek boys but i know it's a passing phase like their looks...pass 30 and it's bye-bye baby.
i blame alex dimitriatiaisisopopoploplopoplos

-have an interest in soundtracks..like the movie wasn't enough but i'm looking for a cheap 'lost in translation' cd soundtrack (attempting to download).

- did i say i've been reading books??

- re-configured my old grey-airport so now i can use it again.

-discovered i own a miniture hurricane lamp and 'church candles'

- i just realised i forgot to pay my internet connection...ergh

Friday, September 09, 2005

Hammerhead - James reyne

Be my ritual
Be my one desire
Be my light be my pure delight
Be my purifier
You'll never know what you do to me
Five times a day
My self distruction you'll over see
Don't go don't go away

Just a touch of you
Just a taste
Like kissing God is what we do
Let's go to waste
You'll never know what you do to me
So sublime
You're like the Devil in Heaven
Every everytime

You've been hanging with the nicest people
Some silken slip of evil

Take food from my mouth
Take my sex
Take my friends take my lovers
Here take this
You'll never know what you do to me
Maybe I'm wrong
Let's take this journey together
Please come please come along
Please come please come along

Thursday, September 08, 2005

binge and purge

Having dad back is great because i can avoid taking public transport.

Had an intense hour long meeting with the new operations manager this week, she asked me how best to approach and implement 'systems' (here we go again) with the staff.. she's heard of our reputation, we reduced a former caltex manager to a nervous wreck after dealing with us for several months and a 'special' school teacher who has tackled all sorts of 'troubled' teenagers curl-up in a corner and rendered mute. . We're either the devil incarnate or cursed so i told her to pray.
She went pale.

My hair is long and i'm being one of the crowd, it is as excillerating as being out of the crowd as you can get away with being merely 'another face in the crowd' .

It will force exploration of ones personality rather than an assumed position.

I'm making myself approachable in a visual sense.

I used hair-colourant-remover today to remove all the colours that have been in my hair, layers of reds, browns, blacks to my totally natural state of colour. I feel liberated, i feel naked amongst a world of shattered rainbows.

Monday, September 05, 2005

i'm fat

busy day, had a long talk with bernice , she's going to france to be with her french boyfriend soon. So we had the chat.
Bought some new clothes, i'm going cheap, buying anodized clothes of no substance or style. Just utlilatasim..i made that word up.. but basically non-descrip. clothes that set no style.
Boring clothes.
Greys, flannel, unstructured but extra small in size so it's slightly edgy in body shape which means i have to start getting into shape.
I'm getting old, my body is thickening and i don't like it.
i have to cut the cream cakes.

Sunday, September 04, 2005

death becomes thee

oh shit, i'm doing titles now.. i'm running on empty creativity and maximum non-chalance but i want to be passionate about something...

Have a family fathers day lunch tomorrow which i must attend so they say. I thought grampa was dead.
No really.
But apparently he's still alive having elderly wet dreams about 19yrold plump chinese girls from the mainland.

He's getting more than i am recently.

I was asked as i flashed my past glorious ..photos.. "umm have you gained weight?" "no, i meant in your face?"
I nearly died. I think i did slip into mild concussion for 2 seconds... i'm fat!!! oh gawd.
"no, i meant you seem more bulkier than your previous pics"

bulkier? i've become a large piece of ikea furniture.

Anyway, today was alright, got through the chaos that is saturday and i'm booked out next week be it for two afternoons. I'm having reservations on actually going fulltime now if offered. I think i will just increase hourly rather than going the full-hog.
When u balance out the pay and how much we are actually making, it doesn't seem fair.
Going to keep my options open for now..

watched abit of the rugby union this evening, god.. i nearly creamed my boxers.

i need a man soon before i turn into some pervert or start massacaring ants or something..

Wednesday, August 31, 2005


...parramattaguy...: hi
...parramattaguy...: can iask u something
...parramattaguy...: would u have sex with an
older guy for $
...parramattaguy...: Im 43gwm
eucharist: thanx for the offer but i dont think i can claim u on tax
...parramattaguy...: ok
...parramattaguy...: well have fun
...parramattaguy...: bye

i swear, my blog has decending into a cesspool of mind-cramps.

So sorry for the content these days.

i was sick with flu the past week although that should actually enhance my creativity but i've been slacking.

need to get back to my art... want to move more into de-visualising objects and scenes.... trying to figure out some decent weekend outfits haha.
saw palindromes last sunday, exceptionally funny.

Friday, August 26, 2005


i've become obsessed with littleappledolls
and have begun collecting them.
Went out for late lunch with amy today..found out julie is pregnant and has moved on from her job at the salon and amy has quit. She's starting up her own business with her husband so it was good we could catch up.
So many changes to things i thought solid.. the girls at that beauty salon were pretty tight-knit so it's a pity they went their own ways i guess.
Change change change...

I've started sketing out ideas for painting again.

Sunday, August 21, 2005


I can't get rid of this huge picture, nvm.
It's been quite busy at work, the usual thing, a few more decent consultations lately, i had the head of nursing in on saturday. So he's my client now and a lawyer and some other important people i suppose.
Getting fatter so i'm trying to keep that under control, don't want to end up too late and having to starve myself . You can never be too thin or too rich someone said.

Sent dad off to canada on thursday, why is it people look so happy at airports 7am??? i was not in the mood. And alot of the duty free items are actually more expensive there.

Bumped into fergus on saturday morning of all things, he's back from his china study/tour found out amy got married and seemed non-petrubed but had a chat with amy on friday night and apparently he wasn't happy about the news so we're going to meet up on thursday so she can fill me on the details.

Oh and i'm so into the pre-rephalite period of art now, haven't been painting much though and now with moire back from austria who knows when i'll have time.

Friday, August 19, 2005


i can blog from my osx widget, yay.

hmm..another useless toy i guess.

Thursday, August 18, 2005

Oh God there are so many useless blogs out there.. then there are the spam-blogs.
It's not easy finding something decent to review these days. Whateve rhappened to sites like KTHXBY???
Anyway, the search continues.

Friday, August 12, 2005

To think there are people out there being buleminc when nausea is a most unpleasant physical expression.
Get a stomach-tie and get over it.

Am feeling out of sorts, had a huge slice of some cream cake and then a bag of tasty jacks chips, why? cos i can, cos i’m thin and gorgeous and they’re dispousing to end world poverty. Since i’m living in this world (ass-end no less) i too must end my own poverty.
Crank up the itunes and i’ve got a benefit.

So, what have i been upto?

finally bought a monitor, all 19inches of it and i’m feeling quite the man, i can even spin the screen round 180 degrees.
Smack me with some halibut and call me a fishermans friend.

Went out to auburn today.
It’s a place where people know very little of and those who live there know even less.
Had a peculiar lunch of excessive oriental meat at a chinese fastfood place where the waitress looks like she’s just come out a chinese flood and the owner chopping oriental meats picks her nose and scoops up the meat-to-dinner-plate in one go.
I was impressed.

Auburn is a place crying out for some criminal activity to give it some edgy publicity.
I’d rather be raped by dental instruments than go back there , ever.

Boredom is so not done.

I have alot of surface space and i’m feeling abit peturbed.


Normally my desks (yes i have 2 for no real reason) are filled with objects that were once inside drawers and drawers ever so minimalist.


But now after my down sizing, i have .. space, too much space it’s just not working. I actually thought about buying a vase and puting flowers in my room.
Mea culpa mea culpa mea maxima culpa.

If God could give me some interior design advice, a sign?
Be cool if i had some religious thing happen in my room, like an apperition so all these people would come and pray and be healed.
I’d sell plastic flowers and little cups of herbal tea and dispense free fashion advice. Just because you’re religious doesn;t mean you can’t be chic.

Be chic for jesus, cos when the saints go marchin’ in you’d wish you were wearing Vivian Westwood and a gorgeous pair of riding boots from Hermes.

God don’t like ugliness.


er.... i don't know how to explain this one.

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

I'm working in the city for a few weeks , it's great during lunch because i can go upto the Q.V.B and have lunch at a fancy cafe and eat chicken and advocado sandwich with the crusts cut off.

I'm getting fat.

I bought a mac.mini it's so cute and small.

I've heard of a new store that sells hard-to-get japanese toys.

I hope it's not too expensive cos i want to the blow-up pineapple with the sleepy face.

i have to clean my room and do something with a crackle-glazed noodle bowl which came from a bodyshop gift pack .

Chatted to client about men and how welsh men are beefy but flacid (look that up in the dictionary kiddies) and australian men are macho and act assertive but when push comes to shove, they're weak willed., itallian men are great in bed but not much else, sleeping with an ex needs serious consideration and peanut m&ms are no substitute for sex but come very close.
We agreed men are bastards and ought to be treated like hair conditioner, leave-in for 5-10minutes then rinse clear.

Sunday, July 31, 2005

Finally finished australian fashion review got the first post up.
Why i am doing this when all i could be doing is shopping or sleeping or rubbing body butter on my body, who knows.

I think i'm going to sleep in tomorrow and just do nothing till work at 4ish.


Friday, July 29, 2005

I'm blogging more on here than working on more articles. I manage to find two interesting blogs so far for the mid-august edition .. people either write shit about global events (yes, i can read news sites if i want the news) or hide works of perpetual fluidity away from public eye (note-boxen). Most fustrating.

Here's one of my recent zine-finds at Kino. PRIVATE. Absolute in beautiful monochrome photography with a direct message.

Abstraction's in the motion not in the mind.

Oh... that's very Dada..i'm getting Dada darlings.

So... work today... got interesting towards the end of the day... bought cakes.


Oh.. and i'm so in-love with Pete murray's voice. It's a teary-Kurt cobain sound.

Thursday, July 28, 2005

Oh, i just realise i can emigrate my blog to this one meaning all my blogs can have one sign-in.
silly billy me.
Anyway, it's been quite hectic lately with trying to find some intersting blogs to review, i've only found 1 this week!!
Alot of common themes running through blogsites not that is anything wrong or less-than just that the review is about how one blogs/writes than what. If you're good, you can make washing the dishes an extra-sensory experience.
And i have another review site i'm working on, that being more attuned to the subject, i still struggle with coming up with an interesting article.
More work and chocolate peanut marshmellow to keep me on my toes oh and i bought a new imac mini just for the hell of it. They're giving wireless and blue tooth and... ram upgrade free so... i bit the bullet and ordered.

Saturday, July 23, 2005

There will be a new site hopefully soon but in the meantime i'll be over at international weblog review