Saturday, June 30, 2007

i do believe this tote is calling out to me, i absolutely love it, more than my own penis, i need this tote , however the price is making me think, my penis isn't so bad after all.

Thursday, June 28, 2007

Since i left you......

Just been bumming round, contemplating what to wear, what to listen to, what colour my hair ought to be, the sun which follows the moon and stars that proliferate our darkest hours upon flights of fancy.
It's been raining since i got back so i haven't been fluttering about cafe/bar society, i want to roll my cigarettes however i ought not to smoke anymore. There was something chic about smoking in melbourne, it is allowed there none of this tobacco-nazism, i fear i've lost my attitude i've become soft and squishy like my butt cheeks after i've intensively scrubbed them tonight. Warning to those who enjoy a bodyscrub or two, avoid the salt based scrubs because if you have a cut or scratch somewhere it will sting like hell. Try for a sugar based bodyscrub, your body will thank you for it and your partner, hehehe.
I don't believe in facial scrubs if you have normal or sensitive skin, only if it's thick and oily or dry flakey and it must be follwed by a thickly moisteriser for the latter. I love dermalogicas 'daily micro-exfoliant' for a thorough cleanse without the abrasivness and since i'm not a big fan of their products, the micro-exfoliant is quite the exception. Pat on some vitaminC serum followed by a moisteriser of your choice (sorbelene for those on a budget or Elizabeth Arden Ceremide for those who like to splash out) I don't believe in anything over$100 for a face cream as i have been there and done that .
Don't waste your money, spend it on a good pair of shoes.
My biggest beauty secret for radiant firm skin is not from the beauty counter.
It's a healthy meal of fresh fish with the skin on, clear broths and lots of water.
I believe strongly in what you eat is a crucial factor to good skin, oily fish high in omega 3 fatty acids does amazing things for the skin, gives it texture and elasticity, i adore fresh salmon fillet, ones with lots of white fatty striping through the flesh and skin. Rub some rock salt on both sides, fry quickly on a very hot pan and you'll be gorgeous as Joan collins. If you're one of those, vegetarians, then there isn't much you can do when it comes to fish is there? however, i believe seaweed to be wonderful for hair and skin too and carrots, high in vitamin A to fights the 7 signs of aging.

At the end of the day, no one wants to look ugly and fat, to justify ones failure is merely an unenergetic excuse. If you can spend so much time watching Big brother then you can spare 30min to unwind and pamper, to put whats fallen down back to it's rightful place (i cannot stand women who don't wear bras, it's not a symbol of male oppression or appeasment, it's so you don't feel like you're playing hacky-sac for the rest of your life) , to firm things up, to exemplify ones aesthetic.
It's not all about being thin (it's easier if you are) it's about keep yourself beautiful and lets face it, if you aren't pretty on the outside how in the world are you going to get anyone to put it inside?
So you're going to end up a fuckless ugly mole? no! take control.

How do i assemble an ikea bed? the thought is sending me to a pot of Aesop tea.

I love Aesop!, i love tea! i love golden showers! under my um-ber-rella ella ella ella eh eh eh.....

Tomorrow i'm going to Latteria with my new shoes .

Friday 29/6/07

Latteria was great.

"Lanterne" has some gorgeous new stock, just one down from Latteria. They sell 'Voluspa' candles costs more than melbourne but then, we are in sydney after all.

I went for a walk and found in a tiny corner "Our spot" stocking A.P.C, nom de guerre and beat poet. Small, minimalist, lots of black and glass, quite unsettling , makes you want to look at the clothes. I do like their sneakers, almost dior like. It's very hidden because you go down this concrete hallway and a huge glass door.

Nice find.

Then i went to victorias basement and lost control rumaging through cheap cockery coming away with a mug .

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Let me introduce you to Miss Joan Collins the new face of Cellex-C.

A hoot and a holler is the best way i could describe my melbourne holiday, i felt so taken care of with John organising everything and reminding me, "how many bags am i suppose to have? i panic at luggage carousels .
Met up with momo on sunday on a rooftop astro-turf bar. She's as fantastique as what she writes, the real thing! we drank and giggled and skipped down the perforated steel steps into st jeromes. I was abit nervous before entering curtin house, so much so i got caught in the lift doors! jammed like a bent crumpet i was squished into the lift!
Shopping was a blast, the last day i spent at 'degreives' street and found a fabulous pair of grey /black suede shoes and a slow lunch with johns delicious lactose intolerant friend, i mean the things one can do with soy products....
Nick drove us round in a very big square, i saw fat-face luna park, tops of a blue bay...palm trees and back to fitzroy where i had to go into 'kleins' for a gorgeous candle, fuck the shoulders, i must add it to my carry-on luggage. I ADORE their goldfish soap, it's a toy goldfish in a plastic bag of clear soap! hahaha
If you ever in melbourne you must go into kleins in fitzroy.
With an hour to go before we get herded into the shuttle bus we sat in st jerome with the gorgeous pete, when did he become so gorgeous? and i got to meet with my long lost crazy-twin Natalie!
She's so fabulous i just wish i could bottle some of her and have her with me forever!

Eggs and smoked salmon became my food of life amongst the long blacks and well rubbed vinyl seats

Scotch and coke!

Rue babylon and hot d.js mixing funk with step-down bass

descending scary steps into ground floor serious cut-toure clothes at ASSIN

pair of pants by 'surface to air'

eggs and smoked salmon

Marais and what's-going-on-with-the-new-wave-of-street-style

fun! craziness! goodtimes! Greatful for knowing such good friends.

Saturday, June 23, 2007

Bonjour from Melbourne!
It has beeen a shopping frenzy for the past few days doing little collins street like a well paid whore, i've made some select purchases.
A pair of Dior homme shoes with heels that make feet cry, dusty pink cardigan for mum at Burberry prosum, a pair of pants from Mirais and lots of long blacks, salmon and eggs and scotch and cokes all over this fabulous city.
Pete has taken me to gorgeous select cafes which lurk round dingy alley ways, pokey-promanades and Nick has ushered me into fashion haunts, miniscule galleries .
I love Assin, they have undercover, dior homme, anne deumsterkjhsdjhasdasduuu and dark sexy salespeople "we have alot of time for anne, she's one of our favourites"
Fitzroy was a hoot! with their cafes and bohemian boutiques, quirkiness with soft lighting and lots of prancing about in difficult shoes, shopping1 more! more!.
I do believe alot of friends have goine out of their way to guide me round, i love, love st jerome and that bar Rue Babylon, so cool i melted into the shdows of the d.j and more scotch.
J'adore melbourne! i heart melbourne! i kaka it !!
Anyway tonight i will wonder round aimless with tourist facination at the nights crispness (oh wasn't the night at Q&A frightfully cold?) and pop into that fantastic china-bar for gorgeous food.

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Oh how tragic, i was at work yesterday and today, tottering around aimlessly.
"what are you doing here?" they ask...."i don't know!" i cried and then bumbled back out to some cake shop.
I realised i don't know how to have a holiday!!!

I bought some beading things, wire and crimping beads so when i get back from melbourne i' can make some pretty necklaces!! Oh dear, i've planned out so many things to do in my holidays i think i need a holiday to get over it.
I'm making some rose quartz and clear quatz crystal beaded necklaces for my mum as i think she looks wonderful in one i made earlier . And as my boss says, you got to do things, anything, with love or it's just nothing in the end.
How on earth am i going to perfect the knots?, you know there is nothing more painful than a bad knot.

I've penciled in my PDA saturday brunch with the fantastic Pete and brilliant Momo. I'm abit nervous as i don't know what to wear when i'm with a directional-vegetarian and the doyene of cool.

Ontop of all this i have to organise my taxes and plan out my message for summer. Last summer it was 'purity in form with a hard-on of an attitude' flat shoes ofcourse but this/next summer i don't know... since everyone has abandoned tight-fit jeans (i still adore, they show off my skinny legs) and wavered to loose cargos, i've notice alot of solid colour blocks in denim.
I urge all of you to say a resounding 'NO' to those hideous 'Aussiebum' crotch-forwarding underpants, i mean if you never had it in the first place you'll never get anywhere anyway.
Keep the mangina real, just have dirty thoughts to fill up the bulge.

Saturday, June 16, 2007

Yes please, oh yes yes yes!! hahaha, tell me you can cook and clean and like to stay home after work to please me everynight???

The spending has begun in earnest, sales at Ralph lauren so i had to get some baby lambs wool jumpers for melbourne, isn't it so cute they shave lambs. A box of ceramide face masks and vitamin C masks , 8 hour cream etc, all i need is something patterny, there's a great lamp at an antique shop i saw once..

Farewell drinks tonight for little miss sunshine, some of us will miss her, some of us can't wait for her to go, some still too drunk to make up their minds. I didin't have much to drink tonight. 2 scotch and cokes and 2 scotch on the rocks. i'm proud of myself i was ok , i'm all grown up now and don't need to drink myself to oblivion.
Mind you they were doubles.

One of the apprentices resigned, not one i'd thought would but she had her personal reasons. Another one i suspect is about to make an announcment and one other, wont survive passed december.

A new client today asked me to give a quote, on her vagina. She wanted her bikini edges tidied and the hair from her "labia" removed, i went blank, where is ones labia? "oh but i don't want the hair in the front of my vagina removed because i get thrush and think the hairs there would protect it, and the top part here, leave the triangle but remove the edges and labia and underneath"
i was having flashes of some hideous velvet sports jacket with sewn patches on the elbows a-la american-country-meets-city look and miss-matched punk mohawk hairdos with paintbox colour streaks.
Hideous, tedious, revolting!
And it smelt like fish.
That's why i'm gay.
I prefer cheese.

All i want now is my holiday and settle into a new apartment, organize a healthy eating routine and then a boyfriend.

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

I'd smack that if i didn't just applied handcream.

I'm so excited about melbourne i can hardly contain myself!!! so i went out today and bought 'travel-sized' shampoo, facial cleanser, moisteriser etc etc only to come home and find i had sample sizes already. But that's alright because i bought some vitamin C facial masks to use after a hectic days shopping.
The word du-cinq-jours will be cashmere, cashmere, cashmere.
I'm determined to get jumpers, scarves and even a blanket to keep me warm although i mustn't get a Ralph lauren throw...what interesting things throws are aren't they?
You just...throw them onto sofas and beds and even throw them onto yourself!
I haven't decided on shoes, i'll have to wear my boots because they're the heaviest.
I've got nick picking some things for me at Burberry already and the thought of Anne deumeister and victor and rolf and even a Mcqueen purchase is just pushing me over the spending frenzy edge!
I think i'll leave the Luxe purchases last because i want to give the local artisans a go first. I'm a great believer of supporting local industry and creativity as long as it measures up to standard ofcourse .
But the thought of a designer outlet store in the middle of the city with the possibilty of Missoni blankets and Ralph lauren bedsheets with matching european pillow covers is just making me ooze consumer-precum.

If only they had shops open 24hrs i could go shopping whilst John goes cruising at Peel....hahaha!

Oh but till then there's a farewell to get through and a long lunch.

Monday, June 11, 2007

i was on the brink of being absolutely trashed at Amys this afternoon.
It started off with some cocktail i forgot, why does she insist on making cocktails without a measuring glass???
Then a few glasses of crisp dry whites and a bottle of over-sweet Moet, next time i'll avoid the 'nectar' eventhough it made sense as a desert wine but , it was just too sweet after all the saltiness.
The usual suspects were there, we had tissue-thin bbq pork wrapped in lettuce leaves, mint leaves, strands of corriander....BBQ king prawns sloshed through some korean salty-chilli sauce their huge black eyes reminded me of erect nipples, korean pancakes filled with handfuls of seafood mix, baby oysters, infant squid and pippis and fish. In the end Amy swirled some wagu beef through rice vermicelli, very morish.
We drank abit more, maybe it's just me not coping with alcohol like i use to and was feeling abit fuzzy.
To think i use to drink so much and remained upright, i was positivly keeling over near the end.
Now that i'm coming round, sobering up i will be getting extremely horny.
This must be some adrenaline thing, i don't know, i remember my ex dreading that moment around 4am when i needed a real hard fuck to calm me down, poor boy would have to down a couple of red bulls to keep up with me. Now that i have no one and er.. work tomorrow.. er hem, i think i will have to go for a run tomorrow morning or something.
No wonder i'm still single, i think i scare men away!
Maybe i could give my ex-fuck buddy a call, the whiny bottom. This boy use to make whiny noises when i pounded him hard and when i hit his sweet spot he would make this long whine, almost like a donkeys bray which kind of made me laugh. I don't know if he's still around, forgettable face but he could bend his legs so i could fuck him sideways where our balls would smack against each other. Some people are quite bendy. Or 'the Ox'...he was this footballer who ..well.. was big in all departments and made me sqeal when he hit my sweet spot hehehe....
Anyway.... you know.. i've gone on this... 'no more sex for sex sake' crusade...wait till i find someone i fall in love with or something and then fuck like rabbits... no more fuck-buddies blah blah....
ergh! i'll go for a run now in my plagerised burberry check trainers from payless shoes i'm so going to buy fantastic shoes in Melbourne, God bless you all on the Queens birthday holiday.

Sunday, June 10, 2007

I want this coat or something close, it's Givenchy 07 couture.
Alright, Melbourne is confirmed, arriving on 21st and leaving 25th June, thanks to John for organinsing it all, it's not easy matching our hectic scheduals but it all worked out well.
Only thing left is the flatshare issue.
Living near work may not go ahead so if that doesn't work out i'll have to move out and get organised very quick as my new shift starts on 4th of July. Anyway like most things in my crazy life it happens all at once or nothing.

Work has slowed abit which is nice, not so rushed, post menapausal women and unkept men with hairy backs, it's not a nice affliction is it?
I'm fortunate as i'm pretty much hairless except oddly enough for my legs, but then i am 33 and being pubescent seems abit obscene, the kinky element wears thin after a while. I think i've milked that for all it's worth , looking wide-eyed with a bambi smile, as you get older you become more honest with your identity, less preoccupied at being something, playing the game.

This weekend is long so tomorrow i will be having korean BBQ with Amy my crazy korean/faghag/sister/drinking buddy etc
How we're going to do Korean BBQ at her elegant apartment is beyond me, i mean the fire alarms kept going off when she was doing tempura eggplant. We'll just get smashed and bitch about men and her husbands bent penis and why i haven't got a man yet etc etc. And drink some more Verve cliquot, maybe i ought to change it to Moet this time, it's a viscous cycle isn't it?

Wednesday, June 06, 2007

Just some random hottness, reminds me of a boy i went to highschool with. As you can tell i'm all hormonal lately, i've even had a few nocturnal emissions darlings !
Waking up to sticky boxers isn't much fun especially in the freezing winters morning, i don't know what it is with me lately, it's like being 13 years old all over again. Geez.... when i was round that age i was a walking erection, it wouldn't stop nor could i, hehehe... oh the fun times..... all the boys at highschool., the drunken drugged-up parties when parents went away for weekend. We'd all rock up, drink ourselves senseless, do stupid things like light our farts, watch horror videos inbetween pornos, there'd be a fight or two here and there then later when we were trashed or so fucked up we''d see who could cum the fastest, furthest and the most, loser in each would have to bottom, hehehe it was quite porno when i think back, funny how gay-porn now a day seem to copy what we did back then. , i mean did we study anything at all? We were crazy, i remember teasing the maths teacher one time , he was one of those nerd like men, mid 40s wearing pringle wool vests, i had to stay back after class because i was so bad...oh so bad... hehehe.. so with me and him in the room i just moved to the front of the class right in front of him and proceeded to open my legs with a smoking hard-on poking out of my tiny grey school shorts , i was quite the sharon stone back then.
He didin't do anything except pretended not to look as his breathing got heavy, i got up and walked up to him, he was sitting down my jutting cock in his face he just stared and couldn't keep his mouth closed he hesitated then i walked back to my seat hahahaha!!. I managed to halve my detention time.
I guess you'd call that 'time management' nowadays.
Anyway, i'm back on adsl and life seems peachy.
Melbourne is back on the cards but for last week of June, hopefully things will work out this time round.

Saturday, June 02, 2007

I'm still here, languishing with a hard-on and 4 weeks of cum, i could use my cock as a fuckin sprinkler !!
I guess it's stress... work..... not them it;s me blah blah.... i was shouting all friday at everything, i was shouting "why am i shouting?"

Anyway i bought some new underwear and warm pyjamas and ate a big mac and large fries.

I've been hitting 4 hrs sessions with miss souvlaki, her legs and face and belly, i'm trying to convince her to do a brazillian

miss souvlaki "no... nobody goes down there anymore"

me - "but what if someone does, u know..accidentally, then you haven't shaved and it's a bush "

miss souvlaki - "oh it's going to hurt"

me - "everything hurts, i got hurt when i missed out on that Ferragamo belt"

me- "your vagina is like a driveway, if there's rubbish along it, how are you suppose to park the car?

i drink too much coffee and eat too much junk food, i'm surrounded by people in love it's nauseating, i was stuck infront of a love-struck down-syndrome couple the other day on the express train to Townhall. The boy kept saying "i love you" to the girl and she was acting all shy red as an over-ripe strawberry and he tried to kiss her but the train swerved and he missed and his thick glasses fell off to the sound of 'clunk'. The girl was like..lost in her shy-love-struck facial expression squirming in orgamsic delight whilst the boy was desperately trying to get his glasses off the floor, he couldn't see so i rush forth to pick it up for him, he puts it on his face quickly but it was upside down..... he didn't realise it.. i looked at him in horror as the left and right ear piece stood up behind his ears like antennea from a b-grade movie then all of a sudden he says to her "will you marry me?" the girl jumps up and down and says "yes yes yes yes" he jumps up and down "i love you i love you i love you"
Suddenly the carriage doors open and i stepped out into the arms of a winters day.