I spent most of the day at the body shop with clueless sales people and Elizabeth arden with a slightly better sales team.
Note to any cosmetics sales people, KNOW WHAT'S IN THE PRODUCT YOU'RE SELLING!!

So after scaring the sales staff i bought a whole heap of exfoliators and face creams with even more mini-products/gift with purchase. I'm planning a pampering and cooking easter break, would love to cook that lentil/rice dish again, it's not that complex and treat my deglected skin and hair, i caught a glimpse in the mirror when miss dumber decided to put make up on my face.

I need intense hydration, moisterisation and exfoliation.

My bag is getting filled with things... books, facial blotting paper, lip balm, chocolates, paracetamol... and i'll add some mini vodkas, weathers getting cooler.

At 5pm on a monday i managed to crash an entire kinkos with an insertion of my bosses usb hub.

We have a woman who pounces into the clinic unanounced asking for how long it takes to do her legs which she goes into some trance and calculates per minute how much it would cost her.

Oh by the way i need a small bag to put inside my big bag, for all those travel sized items.

I don't know, my life is so futile however atleast i still look good.

Since Wednesday.....

- Big bags tend to leave marks on your shoulder.

- Dumb and dumber are on "the laxative" diet they take laxatives (4 per night or as many as possible) however miss dumber keeps getting stomach cramps all day and hasn't pooped for 7days.

- Bought a shard of quartz crystal , my bedroom needs to be cleansed. I've been having weird dreams and waking up at 3am with my computer suddenly turning itself on. I'll try and exorcise my room if it doesn't work i'll have to call my psychic for some channelling and get some messages aswell since i'm there.

- i was cruised by a midget on town hall station

- had a drunk irish guy fall asleep sitting next to me on the train, his head slowly sliding down to my shoulder, i slowly moved away but then he suddenly he fell sideways very quickly and landed on my gucci bag which was on my lap at 8am in the morning. (deep breath)
People stared, i gently edged him off to the side , fortunately the train turned a corner which allowed me to quickly move my knee to the side resulting his head sliding off the guccissima print and landing with a thud onto the floor.
Thank God for miniture tissue packs with cutesy pastel coloured cats prints availible for $4 pack of 6 at asian discount stores (deep breath) managed to wipe his presence off my Gucci bag!
He just laid there at my feet, well my feet were on tip-toe to minimise contact but you know in someways i ought to be honoured to have a man at my feet be it pass-out drunk irishman with yellow smiley t-shirt.
I had my sunglasses on, you cannot expect me to not wear them so early in the morning.

- wearing sunglasses on cloudy days.

- Having Mars Bars or Snickers day

- Singing 'Clocks' by coldplay , very badly.

- Told a client to felch instead of clench when she had issues with keeping her vagina tight

"i can't put the needles in if that area is slack, either i pull it tight or you felch it"

i meant clench, she clenched, i haven't fleched since that time i got corn stuck on my teeth.

- had lunch with John, we browsed Bally which has some cool bags and a leaking roof.

- Saw an old woman run in the city, she wasn't wearing a bra.

- I believe in another luxe purchase soon, i do believe.

- still single.

It's waterproof and has metal feet.
Flora (yes that is her name) brought out 20 bags? something like that, i was quite overwhelmed but i only wanted one!
"it's the one with the guccissima bits on the edge" i vaguely describe but i think she just wanted to 'shock and awe' me with choices, i did think about the canvas black, it was only 750 and big however i know the unpleasantness of fabric verses rain. Very disappointing so it was either all leather (too heavy) or the nylon and leather one which is abit bulky, but you know, you can never have enough carry space.



It all fits with room for a block of lean cuisine and small jumper/scarf.
Geez, it's been a while since i had a good spending spree, to think i use to go fortnightly and raid castlereigh street.
Any way , life goes on, i buy for function nowadys the product must be able to handle everyday use, i still have a Gucci kaftan which i've never worn, what on earth do i do with it?

The next item on my list is new digital camera.

This Gucci bag or This Gucci bag?

I've been watching Twin peaks dvd set , finally i got some time to myself.

I decided not to get a pda especially after getting overwhelmed by the similar models, shapes and functions. And the thought of carrying so damn heavy, i'll probably drop it like the first flip phone by motorola i had years ago with pull-out antenea, it just fell out as i got out of a taxi and down the stormwater drain.
No, i shall jot down events in an unused large autumn-mottled agenda, all i need is the papers to put in.
I will however get a new tote, the Gucci ones are winning so far, Coach has some slightly cheaper.
Totes eventhough may look rather odd but are sooo functional, especially the ones with no zippers, you just pop everything in.
I can have my lean cuisine, magazines, phone, wallet etc and a bottle of evian all in one bag and upright!
One must be prepared working in the city, a fold out louis vuitton map of the freggin world came in handy the other day as a fan whilst trapped on central station.

Little miss sunshine is resigning from work in a few weeks time, this another sad departure from our tight-knit workforce, i mean there's not much left but a bunch or apprentices. I am sad about her leaving so we planned a shopping trip to Gallerias as she wants a dior handbag and i want to play round with some more Anna sui make up.

Ah life, so many twists and turns.

I spent this afternoon with Nick who's going down to melbourne to study and live for a while.
We had a peculiar lunch at a cafe in Hyde park, the sun and trees cast light shadows along the edges of our smiles.
None of the wait-staff could speak english, a japanese girl brought over a bottle of scotch when i wanted scotch and coke, you pay for them seperately! and a delightful spanish waiter who said "sorry i can't take orders, i can't make drinks, i can't do anything" had tight spanish buttocks which was suffice on this perfunctary day.
We talked, ate something i don't remember, had another drink then stumbled over onto the vast amount of wet grass dotted with napping office workers and wide eyed tourists. We laid between trees and the sky so blue etched in plumes of white fairy floss flying by , flying through our confusing lives.
Laying on the grass in hyde park we tried to pause time.
Then we grabbed a taxi and headed to Gucci, Louis Vuitton, Burberry, Dior, Coach, Fendi and some Dolce gabbana place.
Sat down at circular quay and watched the fat german tourists and fatter seagulls waddle by, elderly couples eating ice cream and those shadows which seemed so far away lurched forward.
Nothing stopped except our credit cards.
We walked back up to townhall, the evening decending in waves of white shirts and black skirts waiting at bus stops and seperated as we had met, effortlessly with a breeze gently moving my hair away from all the chaos behind me.

Edited, extended, remixed.

I can't say it's been an eventful week, work has been slow so we just sat round doing bugger all. Dumb and dumber sang to their favourite tunes on the mediaplayer at work, god help me if i hear another Sarah Mcloughlin song.
Then there was some big meeting which i couldn't go to because someone had to look after dumber,
"oh but you've been to all of them already"
eck...i missed out on what went down because when the drama-queen came back his voice was coarse and his eyes quivering on the edge of overflow. It was funny to see.
The Queen got shook and all the kings horses made porn.
He babbled something about no coffee allowed inside the cubicals and wearing all white and the usual bullshit ideas that never eventuate. So i didn't miss anything at all really.
When there is no work-stress your brain seeks out little things to blow-up into major issues. It's stupid.
I've been trying (is an understatement) to get to know miss dumber because i've been accused of being superior! me?!!
But you know it's not easy trying to relate to some feral 17year old freshly shitted out of a country town so small you could spit on it.

I don't come with a half-flush button darlinks.

So anyway i tried to bond with her, i think i'm becoming feral using swear words and standing round outside buildings smoking. Sooooo feral!!!

My boss gave these girls "white" business shirts to wear today, oh dear.... they look like albino potato sacks with fat heads on top and big hair. It was just so funny.

Sometimes i love my boss for being so cruel.
She fired a new one the other week because she wouldn't wear make up,

boss - "she looks like she parked her broom in the carpark"

me - "thats so mean! but she did have shiseido issues"

boss and me - "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA"

Tomorrow i'm going to meet up with John and have wild sex, er..not quite... just hang out and buy something? haven't bought anything lately, i'm trying to be frugal, it's strange, i'm taking my own lunch to work and even drink.

I need a drink and smoke, fuck, i don't even have time for that nowadays.

SUNDAY 10/3/07

I couldn't be bothered posting a new one , the boy in this pic is yummy.

So i managed to get my lazy arse out to meet john for lunch thing, we sat down to Jet cafe in townhall, it's in the middle of the bloody intersection so i had a scotch and coke

waiter "scotch, with coke?"

stupid but cute so i was kind and repeated "COKE"

So John and i caught up with the latest, so nice to chat with him, he's so intelligent, he's doing a PHD so there you go.
So i smoked abit, drank abit, called up pete and told him i'm going to melbourne in May, yes i'm going in May, John's organising it so it'll be fun! Apparently all the cafes there serve alcohol!! yay!! it's going to be drinks a.m till p.m darlings.
So sunday was babbling along then this smelly frenchman complained about the smell of my smokes, and these young ladies sitting next to us complained in a nice way, so i just apologised and carried on.
But the smelly frenchman kept going on about it and used it to have a conversation with them which kind of pissed me off. I can't stand people who think they're righteous so i inhaled twice and blew more smoke! hehehe hahahaha... they eventually left, fuck it's an outdoor area with ashtray, if you don't like it move away.
I aint stopping my filthy habit for a smelly frenchman who has no friends! kekekeke

Actually, that's not fair, not all french men are smelly. Just some.

I love french things, like croissants and Jean paul gualtier and bread sticks.

we hit incu , john bought a really cool hoodie , then the usual Myers. David-jones where i went psycho in food-hall and bought white necterines and cookies and had some chocolate thing , i bought a pair of skinny black jeans and all of a sudden the day was over.

Sunday... too short for me.

I don't know what it is.. caffine withdrawl?... high-street withdrawl?.... smoking withdrawl???
I've toyed with every possible withdrawl and yet i'm feeling terribly depressed.
Been doing everything right, eating well and more, working out with 2 days rest inbetween, work has been easy, with moments in a solarium and 2hour lunches, Dior gift-with-purchases. Maybe i'm just morose, weather-affected, sad, lonely, i don't know... you know when things are down when you got Placebo on the discman, flat thin nano becomes unappealing.
I even had my nails painted black.

Sometimes i wish i stayed in my arty/angsty state 5 years ago although quite obtuse to the world yet in some ways protected and safe.

Do i need a new mobile?
I've become some mobile-phone-joke to my friends "oh you got another new mobile?"
As you know i dropped my new/old one in the toilet, however i got it to work now despite the toneless ring, it just vibrates darlings.
However, just looking at mobiles has been stressful, so many to choose from and none that would actually make me happy, they seem so fractured or overloaded with features, do i really need to video chat to people?? do i need to organise my life on it? tap tap tap on tiny keys or the bigger ones aren't portable.
Why can't they make a good-looking phone that just er... work?
My father has discovered push-to-talk so occasionally i get him yelling my name out and some vague instruction my mother wants to be passed on whilst i'm flirting with some hot guy or in the toilet peeing.
"on the way home get some milk, so-good eh, vanilla not plain... if on special get 50 cartons.... and toilet paper...."

In the middle of some sexual moment.

random guy- "fuck! who's that callin your name?"

me - "it's just my father, keep sucking"

push-to-talk - "you there? hey... y-o-u t-h-e-r-e? AY-YAAAAA he not answering, he not answering, helloooooo nothing on tv.... when is dinner? hellooooooo??????"

I got that nokia no-keypad phone, god that was a waste of space eh, who thought of that????
PDA, my 16yo cousin got this new pda/mobile phone today so at yum cha was trying in vain to figure how to use it, i was too busy eating. My appetite is back so watch out! i'm gonna eat everything But i'm also working out so hopefully it doesn't become all back-fat, you know.... nothing worse than "love-handles" like umm, why do i need to hold onto those?? what do you think hair is for? or even..ears.
So i just ate hideous amounts at yum-cha and bought more food. All my fat jokes gonna come back to haunt me but since i still can't find a lover/partner/whatever i guess i don't need to keep that skinny-young thing illusion. And from what i seen, fat-twinks seem to be getting the hot guys.
But then do i really want someone? maybe that's the question.... since most guys i meet don't "get it", no i;m not being insensitive but hey shoulder hair aint sexy. yes, i like guys with meat on them but trim the fat, please.
Ergh.... although i'm not big on looks, face that is, i mean i don't want some pretty boy, they age quick like the paint on a car, it'll fade.
I have yet to be impressed by anyone, why oh why do guys wear those sleeveless "muscle-shirts" when they have..no muscles?????
Fat arms aint muscle!!!!!!

Just someone who's kind and easy going, no dramas, hygenic (body odour isn't pleasant unless your nose has been fucked up by too much amyl), clean shoes and who can cook.
Oh and teeth...and eyes..... geezus.,....

After offending most of the really hot swedish guys at johns post chinese new year drinks i think i manage to catch up with Amy and Nick!
It started off slow, John and his friends, some very gay people which is fine but i had just finished work and was well, not in the mood.
My mobile ran out of credit, like it had 200 dollars worth where the fuck it go?? and then i proceed to drop it in the toilet just before i left home. So i grab mums phone and er, found it it doesnt work when i get to johns.
Anyway, managed some polite banter with these lovely people then amy arrived and we downed a bottle of Verve, i felt abit better.
People started coming in, all these fantastic tall swedish people, so nice, one fattish one was nice, his face that is, so we chatted but amy and i drank more and more and you know what happend.
I went on a rant about backpackers ! er.....
So the party started to get crowded, amy and i ducked out to get nick because he couldn't get a cab and when we managed to get there, no wonder, its in the middle of nowhere.
Party was in full swing round 9-10 ish, drinks, johns interesting sushi rolls, pretzels and er... more drinks!
We hit the rooftop after the rain and was really nice to have some quiet time, some space, we were so out of it, we were eating ice cream and drinking wine, what the fuck! but good times, we talked, we bitched we laughed and the view was quite nice.
There was this guy who seemed abit too keen, would have done a quickie but he had body odour, i mean, you know.. i'm senstive to smells. However it didn't stop others from having an orgy amongst the empty wine bottles.
So the night ended with me and amy at the bottom of the stairs waiting for our cars, we talked alot about things...you know..things... and she's right you know..... and she's worried about me... and everything.
Nicks going to melbourne, to collingwood of all places so another reason for me to get down there soon.
thanks John for hosting! Good to see you back.

Jack is back!
Well i'm nearly over this stomach bug thing, all i could do for lunch was snibble on a meter long baguette and a bottle of gatorade along the chaotic victoria road. A delivery van nearly side swiped my breadstick! but the day had just begun.
I exclaimed to elizabeth "i can't eat any of your cakes, i have a stomache bug and must fast on bread and water"
"easter isn't far off" she responded whilst twisting a bag of spinach and riccotta filo triangle "here, this is all you need"
And there you go.

Today was quiet, very, i had a nice lady who had the preportions of a beluga whale but atleast she was nice and friendly , some strange iranian woman whose upper lip got quite wet with the pain but asked for my card afterwards, i ought to be flattered. Then lastly i had a shocker. She wasn't suppose to my client so she was put out that her usual operator didn't appear. She made some vague instructions must have alluded me because after the treatment she looked disappointed that i didn't go all over her face despite the fact she had patchy hair, more in one spot so you have to er, even it out. Anyway she threw a tantrum, i wasn't impressed and just dismissed her when she wanted to rebook, she wanted little miss sunshine to work after her shift for her!!!
i just smiled in my i-don't-give-a-fuck- you're-fat-ugly-and-the-only-thing-that-will- make-you-minutely-presentable-is-a-green-recycling-bag-from-a-supermarket-over- your-head type of attitude...
" 6pm is the latest, do you want it or not"
Actually i had this weird satisified smile on my face for some horrible reason.

Had some lovely chocolates yesterday and a bowl of vegetarian udon noodles, i lost weight so i can fit into my Hussein chayalan pants again!! briefly.
I'm excited about this saturday, john's welcome home/new year/lets get pissed/summer party!! rooftop filled with young firm bodies! oh, i'm going to be the oldest one there!! hahaha

I saw a man kiss a dog in townhall yesterday, tongue and all.
It was most inappropriate, as much as seeing really fat girls in skin tight clothes wearing white rimmed sunglasses and dirty thongs/flipflops.
Such vulgarity.

Well after sleeping 24hrs i was slightly better, ergh.... anyway last night i went over to amys for new year dinner thing, i was like not well but she insisted i go so, anyway i was kind of feeling abit better and being stuck at home all day friday wasn't fun so i bundled myself out to east redfern and into a party of people i diidn't know.
Anyway after a few drinks and 'yum-cha' dinner we started to get to know each other, well, me mainly because the others were known. The was an older gay couple there, older as in say, early 40s? which was kinda nice and tall skinny girl and the token fat chick. So we decided to play marjong whilst drinking champagne, very shanghai decadence yes? then i go round dripping some 'mao-tai' chinese wine into the glasses. Mow-toi is famous because of it's hideous smell, like rat shit and it's 53%proof, i mean you can power a small car with it, it's actually quite nice to drink if you can get over the smell.
In a hour or so we were basically hallucinating, amy passed out, the fat chick started to do the chicken dance, gay couple were in some musical with Abba and i was like, wondering if i can stand, oops no i can't! I adore marble floors.
Anyway i manage to get home in one piece though, it's chinese new year today so i'm spending it with mum and dad, doing traditional er...things... just being with them i guess means alot and calling distant relatives and having loud banging chinese music in the backround. And dad telling me how when he was a kid what they got upto round the village on chinese new years, like, go and light firecrackers infront of bedrooms at 2am in the morning.
Fun times.

Today i woke up sick.
Infact i was sick lastnight but i thought a sleep could fix it but this morning i had to admit defeat after my body decided to go into fever mode.
You see, i'm a kind of person who doesn't believe in being sick eventhough i've had chronic fatigue syndrome, since having recovered much from it everything seems easy (colds, flu, etc) you just drink lots of fluids and rest and everything fixes itself in 48hrs.
You never stop working. Infact i don't think i've ever taken a day off, oh maybe one or two during 3years.
I live for work and would never be late and leave only when i had to.
I even polish the sinks!
So today really was a challenge for me to admit i was sick and needed a day off and it has made me feel strange, slightly uneasy at first to show my vunerability but also learning to trust that everything will go fine without me there, to let go abit and to let others feel they can manage it. And they can ofcourse, i guess it's giving them the power to look after things instead of me always controlling the situation.
It was such a a success i got 2 days off so i can completely recover .
Ok back to bed.

Bloody hell it's valentines day and all i see are $20 single-stem roses.
once my ex, the sex-addict bought one for me, it was in glass. He said it would last as long as his hard-on for me, so romantic eh.
After we broke up i threw it out his apartment window with the rest of his glassware. He loved glassware, it was when 'Bayswiss' started off , we'd spend most of the weekend at that fucken place, one more thatched baskety thingy i'll scream.
So i thought i would go to officeworks for some geek-indulgence.
Multi coloured post-it notes! external-harddrives! i loooove external hardrives, they have one that's covered in this rubber thing, keep your data safe!
Anyway i bought new keyboard/mouse set which is so cool cos it's smaller and has low-profile keys!
Then i went to priceline to satsify my girly vanity and got some L'oreal face creams however when i was at the check-out i was offered a free anti-wrinkle serum.
"you put this on before the cream to help erase your lines and wrinkles"
I was horrified! the check-out girl realised what happened and stuttered "oh, you don't have any but, but but it's suppose to work on you"
what??!!!!
hehehehe... so now i'm all lined and wrinkled, bleh. On the advert. it says it works in 1hour, de-creasing. I wonder if i will end up with expressionless-face like during christmas, it has boswelox which sounds so fantastic from the l'oreal labratories. I can imagine a bunch of people running round in white-lab coats with beautiful hair and square shaped Prada glasses.
Another one i got has 're-tautening', what the fuck??? so not only can i make myself expressionless but tight aswell, so tight you can play tennis with freshly shaved testicals on it.
Make it, toight, toight, toight!

ok got to stop it, romance is not for me so i'll hit the gym and reaffirm my aging confidence and clean up for chinese new year.

Somehow i managed to catch up Gav and Nori lastnight after a crazy day at work with people coming in at different booking times, threw everything into chaos.
Had the russian mafia housewife who loves to wear adidas tracksuit pants with lots and lots of diamond rings and severely blonde highlights. She was talking about her husbands small testicals "zo zmall, zo zo zo zmall"
and how she has these toyboys because
"russian boyz are cheap, you give them vodka and they they do anyzing!"

So the day drifted in and out with the enthusiasm of a run-over cat along the highway .

Rushed home, got changed and back onto a train to North sydney of all places to finally visit Gav in his new apartment.
All i got to say is, it's the neatest, cleanest batchelor pad i've ever seen, it even has $41 table runners.
So after showing me round we settled down to some serious chai. Now i've never been a big fan of chai due to the heavy cinnamon flavours but Gav came up with his own concoction with cardoman and mysterious tealeaves and even... lactose intolerant milk! hahaha was fabulous.
We chilled on his uniquely handmade suede sofa , i can't help but wonder how long this sofa will be kept so clean, suede can be unforgivable to stains.
It's always a pleasure to sit down and have a chat with dear Gav, so insightful and wise the young man despite his strange ikea purchases, bunch of dried twigs?? caning fetish? get caned at gavs? wooohohoho...
Then we hit the city.
First we picked up Raj and entered chinatown looking for a good dumpling place, Gav was in one of his eating-moods, mother chus was closed so we went to this strange fastfood type place which oddly enough had quite good fried-steamed dumplings. The vibrating blue cattle prod was odd, when your order was ready the blue-thing rings ands vibrated violently then you go and pick it up.
Feeling thoroughly satisfied and abit confused with Rajs accent from memory he didn't sound so much like apu! i swear!
Anyway we shimmied through The columbian, all these pretty boys had nothing on us because we were such messes, hahaha, we met this odd couple on their first date, one boy looked distressed in need of some medical attention the other, well, i'm sure he's a nice boy but when he started to recount the evening timetable for countrylink rail services and the night ride buses i really couldn't take it anymore.
I was evil in Batutta.
My saving grace was seeing the beautiful Nori again, how long has it been? since Andrews farewell, it seemed such a long time ago, i missed the boy,
So we managed to catch up, he was there with his umm.. boyfriend who i mistaken for someone with downs syndrome but he was just a really, really, gentle type of person. We all (minus the distressed boy and countrylink boy) headed to Stonewall for drinks, and a bit of a wiggle on the dance floor. They played an oddly good mix, more like Pheonix, slightly tribal with hint of wave-your-hands-in-the-air vibe, not too pop and definately no Michael jackson.
Some hot guys about, Gav was all over this tall gym toned jock thing, raj and me were desperately trying to avoid this short old weirdo with dyed hair who went round feeling up strangers. Said hi to the drama queen who works there on saturday nights and jumped round like an out of control vibrator. I had this weird drink called 'Mother' with all sorts of caffine and guarana things and a vodka red bull, sheez this morning i'm feeling the effects.

oh and Gav here is a place that does digital photo to canvas prints this one is in artarmon.

My life has become my work which is scarey but with the workload lately it's quite alot to digest. Some of the team are begining to get sick with all the pressure (it happens) and more whispers of resignations again. No wonder the business cannot grow out of it's never ending childhood.
Anyway, i did manage to get some 'me' time on wednesday, went and watched "VOLVER" at circular quay, lovely area with the harbour and ships and things. Finally got to watch an old woman hide under a bed and Penelope cruz pee in the toilet and bury her husband in a bulk-freezer. Quite funny and touching.
I finally got a bottle of Marc jacobs 'Grass' at myers during the week and as a result lost one of the trainees in the perfume section. She later immerged traumatised by clinique cosmeticians and vendors with little bits of cardboard strips of scent.
Then i had to do under-bikini and it was quite traumatic for me.

Anyway, life rolls on .

Just a quick post as i'm sitting here in nothing but pair of boxers ready for bed.

The party in the hills district was fun, drank alot, smoked alot, rolled my eyes alot.

Nearly went to stonewall with the dramaqueen and little miss sunshine but i grabbed a cab home instead. I wasn't feeling sexy, can't do clubs when you aint feeling it.

Did some supervising and training with dumb and dumber today, i guess that's not fair but really, i can see a car crash happening soon.

Still red from the tanning booth, or the uv-cage. 4minutes and i was like a cooked chicken red and raw, i'm still red but a tan is slowly appearing. I think i wont be doing that again too soon.

Work, ho-hum . The C.E.O seems to be in a very happy mood of late which can only mean one thing, it's gonna be a rough ride down pets.

For a moment i wish i was in love again but snapped out of it when i had thai mint prawn noodle salad! devine!

I got the rolling stones double cd hits! remastered and sounding fab.

i go sleep now.

Didn't feel too well today but survived it.

Had the purple track suit tranny again today, ergh, he told me about his tranny friend who has alot of anal sex so much so it has ruined her bowels. "she carries a colostomy bag" and i go "whilst she's having sex?"
"yes" and i have this mental image of a bag of shit slapping against some guys arse , my day became askewed..

Early on i went to a solarium and got blasted with UV light, it was a stand-up solarium so i felt like a roast chicken.
It was fun. I will keep going till i go black and once you gone black you never turn back.

Grrrl fren!

Anyway, it's hectic weekend with birthday parties and training next week and god knows what else.

I'm one step away from Plunging head first into some majoy Givenchy purchases, i hate Gwen stefani for plagerising the back-to-back 'G-G' symbol for her own shiteous label of hoodies , trackpants and sunglasses mutated from Tom Fords designs. What a cunt!
Anyway they are totally impractical, i can't fit lunch into them (why am i eating lunch?) but oh, the leather trim and shiny shiny metal hardware.

I haven't had sex in months , i've been working my arse off and having to deal with the C.E.O directly every monday, what a great way to start your week ! And i got a birthday party on saturday out in the 'hills' district with some middle eastern guys and gals (work related but they hot) where the fuck is that?
Plus i have a meeting with someone about organising our telecommunications in the clinic, multi-platform communications, er , i don't know! i'm totally fucked!! i have to look like i know!! kaka!! big KAKA!!!
And i haven't figured out what to wear to the meeting, do i bling or just wear Prada? !!!
Ontop of it all we got 2 country girls who we have to train as apprentices, good God, i met them on saturday and oh sweet Jesus bum, we may need to start with some emergency liposuction . They had to walk sideways down the hallway for Christs sake! oh and the clincher was when miss doughnut says to me
"i may not be pretty on the outside but i'm beautiful person inside (pause) here"
"Just the one dear?"
MUAH HAHAHAHAHAHAHA... ohhh no i didn't say that i just tilt my head to the side and made a smile that looked like i was over come with emotion but really i just wanted to throw-up the contents of my duodenumn and said in a soft voice,
"you are beautiful **places hand on miss doughnuts hand, oh it's actually her finger** i see that coming through"

Eventually.

Is there a word for people who treat fatties like that? besides 'cunt' there must be a proper technical term, fatist? boomba-basher? obesist?

On some calmer news, i got some cool shirts for mum at Ralph lauren on sunday down at the Quay and sniffed round COACH whose accesories are pretty funky, young, fresh! And ok, i admit it, i had a quick poke round Louis vuitton but i didn't buy anything!!! i swear!! why am i using exclamation marks??!!!

What's with all these german dutch swedish backpackers of late??? geezus it's like abbaville !!! i just want to throw soap at them and say "we do wash here" AND "fuck... haven't you seen people from the asian continent before??
take a photo why don't you!! it'll last longer!!!
Bloody backpacks. Oh, i was carrying one today...... ermm..but it was Prada.

Anyway, i really need a smoke but i haven't even had time to do that, i mean i had to squeeze in latteria at 3:30pm sunday. that was my only "down-time" .

Oh and today, i did a G-string bikini, the bottom bit not the top on a partially-deaf girl who lip-reads so i spoke really quickly just to make things interesting.

Hm... Givenchy .....

Time has become precious as i marvell at moments and try to recognise myself in myriad of possible incarnations.
As i tried in vain to keep dead leaves from the entrance and wild summer winds push glass doors ajar and the fluctuating barometric pressure signaled thick grey lurching forward up in the sky my heart threw its self on the floor and screamed for my attention. Amongst shrills of an angry telephone, the dry scrape of lead pencil skirting along perfectly lined booking paper and pressence of souls in various moments of expression gently patting their faces with ice and walking away closer to becoming socially invisible . All i could do was let him throw and kick and cry till tears of indignation were left like tiny photos flicked open from brass lockets for me to sweep away.

The flowers shudded as my father poked a european wasp nest with willow and a can of incesticide he created his own overcast day nearby. They writhered as babies freshly born to die thorax arching in mysterious itallics their wings crackling and my shoe print across vaporating eyes. A nest the size of your fist, not mine, fibre, soil, leaves regurgitated into perfect cells was filled with tiny white replications dotted with black-eyes-open witnessing this massacre recording death of the family to only be part of modern history, our contemporary revolution , their argument for devolution .

So tomorrow is sunday! i shall walk away into the world unchanged and pretty without my sugared heart but i know that eventually i will become nothing more than dirt for wasps to spit out .

Atleast we got the same underwear.

Ok, it wasn't too bad yesterday.

We decided to make the best of it, me and little miss sunshine had macdonalds and sat back with some trashy magazines. We caught up with the latest craziness at work and did a bit of work .

One woman i epilated didn't take the pain very well, she kept arching her back and shaking her body, looked like she was having an orgasm, hehehe, was kind of funny in a weird way and then i find out the coppola-girl (she looks like sophia coppola) is actually a, lesbian! hehehehehe. I didn't know! i was in shock!

"omg! you're one of them!" i exclaimed.

We got a lot of lesbots clients but they're pretty ones, hehehe.

Anyway i've been posted to work in the city half my week and half in the blue-rinse. I don't mind, happier that way, i could have wine with lunch in the city at that little cafe in the strand.

Sometimes i wonder if this is what i am meant to do eventhough i enjoy permanently epilating peoples body parts and the remaining staff are really inspirational "senior electrologists" the C.E.O finally acknowledges, a conversation with the coppola-girl made me think.
She quit her lucrative job with an international media company to go travelling and explore her options.
She said "so many people get into a pattern and then become afraid to change so they don't think and don't take other options. So many options out there"
As i get older i do feel more vunerable thus look for safer options, when you're young you don't think of mortality but more about the thrill of chances . But once you have taken those chances and realise at times they don't pay off, there is opportunity and opportunity for loss.
I guess fear sets in and resigning to the mundanity of living.
Bills have to be paid .

I felt this year would be good to just set myself into work mode, before it's always been abit scattered with lots of adventures to fill in time. So many guises to play and charades to perform and letting the hours flow beneath our feet. Cafe days.

White picket fence, my favourite clothing store has finally closed. The place where i got introduced to skinny jeans and Hussein Challayan pants and westwood belt... finally closed.