Thursday, July 05, 2007


I've just had the joy of visiting my doctor however he was on holiday at the snowfields so i got his impersonator who likes to write explicitly what i have wrong with me. A simple "viral infection' or 'flu' or 'bacterial infection' or a myriad of medical subtlties would suffice for a medical certificate but no, it had to be in big letters for all to see.
On the same day i get an email of some guy asking me if i wanted to have sex with him.
i would have if i wasn't shitting my kidneys out, i would have if it was summer and i'm hot from the sun, i would have if i had just exfoliated, i would have if i could be bothered but as you all know, my life is never so simple.
I politely declined noting my delicate condition "you don't want my shit to be the only lubricant, an no it doesn't taste like strawberry" however would keep in contact if i needed a spare plumber.

I'm alright now i think, the cup of early grey seems to have ventured into my bladder this time instead of my colon, i think i'll go back to bed, i can't believe i slept most of the day and the time with a pulsating hard-on. What's with me when i'm down with flu or sick i get highly aroused, must be some Freud thing in the past or is that Jung, one of those.... i should come up with psychoanalynical theories of my own.

The flotis theory where things happens for no apparent reason, have a profound effect then disappear from all trace destroying any historical clue.

There is no justification.

my farts smell funny.

2 comments:

JohnBoy said...

Oh my... are you fine? You dont sound fine after melbourne.. Melbourne Bug? Hehe.. or Melbourne withdrawal symptoms? Hehe.. Rest well.

J.

Anonymous said...

haha shopping withdrawl?? bleh, this flu! i just want to curl up in bed and have a cup of whey!! hahahaha!! whey!!!! kekeke wake up and have man-boobs!!