Do i need a new mobile?
I've become some mobile-phone-joke to my friends "oh you got another new mobile?"
As you know i dropped my new/old one in the toilet, however i got it to work now despite the toneless ring, it just vibrates darlings.
However, just looking at mobiles has been stressful, so many to choose from and none that would actually make me happy, they seem so fractured or overloaded with features, do i really need to video chat to people?? do i need to organise my life on it? tap tap tap on tiny keys or the bigger ones aren't portable.
Why can't they make a good-looking phone that just er... work?
My father has discovered push-to-talk so occasionally i get him yelling my name out and some vague instruction my mother wants to be passed on whilst i'm flirting with some hot guy or in the toilet peeing.
"on the way home get some milk, so-good eh, vanilla not plain... if on special get 50 cartons.... and toilet paper...."

In the middle of some sexual moment.

random guy- "fuck! who's that callin your name?"

me - "it's just my father, keep sucking"

push-to-talk - "you there? hey... y-o-u t-h-e-r-e? AY-YAAAAA he not answering, he not answering, helloooooo nothing on tv.... when is dinner? hellooooooo??????"

I got that nokia no-keypad phone, god that was a waste of space eh, who thought of that????
PDA, my 16yo cousin got this new pda/mobile phone today so at yum cha was trying in vain to figure how to use it, i was too busy eating. My appetite is back so watch out! i'm gonna eat everything But i'm also working out so hopefully it doesn't become all back-fat, you know.... nothing worse than "love-handles" like umm, why do i need to hold onto those?? what do you think hair is for? or even..ears.
So i just ate hideous amounts at yum-cha and bought more food. All my fat jokes gonna come back to haunt me but since i still can't find a lover/partner/whatever i guess i don't need to keep that skinny-young thing illusion. And from what i seen, fat-twinks seem to be getting the hot guys.
But then do i really want someone? maybe that's the question.... since most guys i meet don't "get it", no i;m not being insensitive but hey shoulder hair aint sexy. yes, i like guys with meat on them but trim the fat, please.
Ergh.... although i'm not big on looks, face that is, i mean i don't want some pretty boy, they age quick like the paint on a car, it'll fade.
I have yet to be impressed by anyone, why oh why do guys wear those sleeveless "muscle-shirts" when they have..no muscles?????
Fat arms aint muscle!!!!!!

Just someone who's kind and easy going, no dramas, hygenic (body odour isn't pleasant unless your nose has been fucked up by too much amyl), clean shoes and who can cook.
Oh and teeth...and eyes..... geezus.,....

After offending most of the really hot swedish guys at johns post chinese new year drinks i think i manage to catch up with Amy and Nick!
It started off slow, John and his friends, some very gay people which is fine but i had just finished work and was well, not in the mood.
My mobile ran out of credit, like it had 200 dollars worth where the fuck it go?? and then i proceed to drop it in the toilet just before i left home. So i grab mums phone and er, found it it doesnt work when i get to johns.
Anyway, managed some polite banter with these lovely people then amy arrived and we downed a bottle of Verve, i felt abit better.
People started coming in, all these fantastic tall swedish people, so nice, one fattish one was nice, his face that is, so we chatted but amy and i drank more and more and you know what happend.
I went on a rant about backpackers ! er.....
So the party started to get crowded, amy and i ducked out to get nick because he couldn't get a cab and when we managed to get there, no wonder, its in the middle of nowhere.
Party was in full swing round 9-10 ish, drinks, johns interesting sushi rolls, pretzels and er... more drinks!
We hit the rooftop after the rain and was really nice to have some quiet time, some space, we were so out of it, we were eating ice cream and drinking wine, what the fuck! but good times, we talked, we bitched we laughed and the view was quite nice.
There was this guy who seemed abit too keen, would have done a quickie but he had body odour, i mean, you know.. i'm senstive to smells. However it didn't stop others from having an orgy amongst the empty wine bottles.
So the night ended with me and amy at the bottom of the stairs waiting for our cars, we talked alot about things...you know..things... and she's right you know..... and she's worried about me... and everything.
Nicks going to melbourne, to collingwood of all places so another reason for me to get down there soon.
thanks John for hosting! Good to see you back.

Jack is back!
Well i'm nearly over this stomach bug thing, all i could do for lunch was snibble on a meter long baguette and a bottle of gatorade along the chaotic victoria road. A delivery van nearly side swiped my breadstick! but the day had just begun.
I exclaimed to elizabeth "i can't eat any of your cakes, i have a stomache bug and must fast on bread and water"
"easter isn't far off" she responded whilst twisting a bag of spinach and riccotta filo triangle "here, this is all you need"
And there you go.

Today was quiet, very, i had a nice lady who had the preportions of a beluga whale but atleast she was nice and friendly , some strange iranian woman whose upper lip got quite wet with the pain but asked for my card afterwards, i ought to be flattered. Then lastly i had a shocker. She wasn't suppose to my client so she was put out that her usual operator didn't appear. She made some vague instructions must have alluded me because after the treatment she looked disappointed that i didn't go all over her face despite the fact she had patchy hair, more in one spot so you have to er, even it out. Anyway she threw a tantrum, i wasn't impressed and just dismissed her when she wanted to rebook, she wanted little miss sunshine to work after her shift for her!!!
i just smiled in my i-don't-give-a-fuck- you're-fat-ugly-and-the-only-thing-that-will- make-you-minutely-presentable-is-a-green-recycling-bag-from-a-supermarket-over- your-head type of attitude...
" 6pm is the latest, do you want it or not"
Actually i had this weird satisified smile on my face for some horrible reason.

Had some lovely chocolates yesterday and a bowl of vegetarian udon noodles, i lost weight so i can fit into my Hussein chayalan pants again!! briefly.
I'm excited about this saturday, john's welcome home/new year/lets get pissed/summer party!! rooftop filled with young firm bodies! oh, i'm going to be the oldest one there!! hahaha

I saw a man kiss a dog in townhall yesterday, tongue and all.
It was most inappropriate, as much as seeing really fat girls in skin tight clothes wearing white rimmed sunglasses and dirty thongs/flipflops.
Such vulgarity.

Well after sleeping 24hrs i was slightly better, ergh.... anyway last night i went over to amys for new year dinner thing, i was like not well but she insisted i go so, anyway i was kind of feeling abit better and being stuck at home all day friday wasn't fun so i bundled myself out to east redfern and into a party of people i diidn't know.
Anyway after a few drinks and 'yum-cha' dinner we started to get to know each other, well, me mainly because the others were known. The was an older gay couple there, older as in say, early 40s? which was kinda nice and tall skinny girl and the token fat chick. So we decided to play marjong whilst drinking champagne, very shanghai decadence yes? then i go round dripping some 'mao-tai' chinese wine into the glasses. Mow-toi is famous because of it's hideous smell, like rat shit and it's 53%proof, i mean you can power a small car with it, it's actually quite nice to drink if you can get over the smell.
In a hour or so we were basically hallucinating, amy passed out, the fat chick started to do the chicken dance, gay couple were in some musical with Abba and i was like, wondering if i can stand, oops no i can't! I adore marble floors.
Anyway i manage to get home in one piece though, it's chinese new year today so i'm spending it with mum and dad, doing traditional er...things... just being with them i guess means alot and calling distant relatives and having loud banging chinese music in the backround. And dad telling me how when he was a kid what they got upto round the village on chinese new years, like, go and light firecrackers infront of bedrooms at 2am in the morning.
Fun times.

Today i woke up sick.
Infact i was sick lastnight but i thought a sleep could fix it but this morning i had to admit defeat after my body decided to go into fever mode.
You see, i'm a kind of person who doesn't believe in being sick eventhough i've had chronic fatigue syndrome, since having recovered much from it everything seems easy (colds, flu, etc) you just drink lots of fluids and rest and everything fixes itself in 48hrs.
You never stop working. Infact i don't think i've ever taken a day off, oh maybe one or two during 3years.
I live for work and would never be late and leave only when i had to.
I even polish the sinks!
So today really was a challenge for me to admit i was sick and needed a day off and it has made me feel strange, slightly uneasy at first to show my vunerability but also learning to trust that everything will go fine without me there, to let go abit and to let others feel they can manage it. And they can ofcourse, i guess it's giving them the power to look after things instead of me always controlling the situation.
It was such a a success i got 2 days off so i can completely recover .
Ok back to bed.

Bloody hell it's valentines day and all i see are $20 single-stem roses.
once my ex, the sex-addict bought one for me, it was in glass. He said it would last as long as his hard-on for me, so romantic eh.
After we broke up i threw it out his apartment window with the rest of his glassware. He loved glassware, it was when 'Bayswiss' started off , we'd spend most of the weekend at that fucken place, one more thatched baskety thingy i'll scream.
So i thought i would go to officeworks for some geek-indulgence.
Multi coloured post-it notes! external-harddrives! i loooove external hardrives, they have one that's covered in this rubber thing, keep your data safe!
Anyway i bought new keyboard/mouse set which is so cool cos it's smaller and has low-profile keys!
Then i went to priceline to satsify my girly vanity and got some L'oreal face creams however when i was at the check-out i was offered a free anti-wrinkle serum.
"you put this on before the cream to help erase your lines and wrinkles"
I was horrified! the check-out girl realised what happened and stuttered "oh, you don't have any but, but but it's suppose to work on you"
what??!!!!
hehehehe... so now i'm all lined and wrinkled, bleh. On the advert. it says it works in 1hour, de-creasing. I wonder if i will end up with expressionless-face like during christmas, it has boswelox which sounds so fantastic from the l'oreal labratories. I can imagine a bunch of people running round in white-lab coats with beautiful hair and square shaped Prada glasses.
Another one i got has 're-tautening', what the fuck??? so not only can i make myself expressionless but tight aswell, so tight you can play tennis with freshly shaved testicals on it.
Make it, toight, toight, toight!

ok got to stop it, romance is not for me so i'll hit the gym and reaffirm my aging confidence and clean up for chinese new year.

Somehow i managed to catch up Gav and Nori lastnight after a crazy day at work with people coming in at different booking times, threw everything into chaos.
Had the russian mafia housewife who loves to wear adidas tracksuit pants with lots and lots of diamond rings and severely blonde highlights. She was talking about her husbands small testicals "zo zmall, zo zo zo zmall"
and how she has these toyboys because
"russian boyz are cheap, you give them vodka and they they do anyzing!"

So the day drifted in and out with the enthusiasm of a run-over cat along the highway .

Rushed home, got changed and back onto a train to North sydney of all places to finally visit Gav in his new apartment.
All i got to say is, it's the neatest, cleanest batchelor pad i've ever seen, it even has $41 table runners.
So after showing me round we settled down to some serious chai. Now i've never been a big fan of chai due to the heavy cinnamon flavours but Gav came up with his own concoction with cardoman and mysterious tealeaves and even... lactose intolerant milk! hahaha was fabulous.
We chilled on his uniquely handmade suede sofa , i can't help but wonder how long this sofa will be kept so clean, suede can be unforgivable to stains.
It's always a pleasure to sit down and have a chat with dear Gav, so insightful and wise the young man despite his strange ikea purchases, bunch of dried twigs?? caning fetish? get caned at gavs? wooohohoho...
Then we hit the city.
First we picked up Raj and entered chinatown looking for a good dumpling place, Gav was in one of his eating-moods, mother chus was closed so we went to this strange fastfood type place which oddly enough had quite good fried-steamed dumplings. The vibrating blue cattle prod was odd, when your order was ready the blue-thing rings ands vibrated violently then you go and pick it up.
Feeling thoroughly satisfied and abit confused with Rajs accent from memory he didn't sound so much like apu! i swear!
Anyway we shimmied through The columbian, all these pretty boys had nothing on us because we were such messes, hahaha, we met this odd couple on their first date, one boy looked distressed in need of some medical attention the other, well, i'm sure he's a nice boy but when he started to recount the evening timetable for countrylink rail services and the night ride buses i really couldn't take it anymore.
I was evil in Batutta.
My saving grace was seeing the beautiful Nori again, how long has it been? since Andrews farewell, it seemed such a long time ago, i missed the boy,
So we managed to catch up, he was there with his umm.. boyfriend who i mistaken for someone with downs syndrome but he was just a really, really, gentle type of person. We all (minus the distressed boy and countrylink boy) headed to Stonewall for drinks, and a bit of a wiggle on the dance floor. They played an oddly good mix, more like Pheonix, slightly tribal with hint of wave-your-hands-in-the-air vibe, not too pop and definately no Michael jackson.
Some hot guys about, Gav was all over this tall gym toned jock thing, raj and me were desperately trying to avoid this short old weirdo with dyed hair who went round feeling up strangers. Said hi to the drama queen who works there on saturday nights and jumped round like an out of control vibrator. I had this weird drink called 'Mother' with all sorts of caffine and guarana things and a vodka red bull, sheez this morning i'm feeling the effects.

oh and Gav here is a place that does digital photo to canvas prints this one is in artarmon.

My life has become my work which is scarey but with the workload lately it's quite alot to digest. Some of the team are begining to get sick with all the pressure (it happens) and more whispers of resignations again. No wonder the business cannot grow out of it's never ending childhood.
Anyway, i did manage to get some 'me' time on wednesday, went and watched "VOLVER" at circular quay, lovely area with the harbour and ships and things. Finally got to watch an old woman hide under a bed and Penelope cruz pee in the toilet and bury her husband in a bulk-freezer. Quite funny and touching.
I finally got a bottle of Marc jacobs 'Grass' at myers during the week and as a result lost one of the trainees in the perfume section. She later immerged traumatised by clinique cosmeticians and vendors with little bits of cardboard strips of scent.
Then i had to do under-bikini and it was quite traumatic for me.

Anyway, life rolls on .

Just a quick post as i'm sitting here in nothing but pair of boxers ready for bed.

The party in the hills district was fun, drank alot, smoked alot, rolled my eyes alot.

Nearly went to stonewall with the dramaqueen and little miss sunshine but i grabbed a cab home instead. I wasn't feeling sexy, can't do clubs when you aint feeling it.

Did some supervising and training with dumb and dumber today, i guess that's not fair but really, i can see a car crash happening soon.

Still red from the tanning booth, or the uv-cage. 4minutes and i was like a cooked chicken red and raw, i'm still red but a tan is slowly appearing. I think i wont be doing that again too soon.

Work, ho-hum . The C.E.O seems to be in a very happy mood of late which can only mean one thing, it's gonna be a rough ride down pets.

For a moment i wish i was in love again but snapped out of it when i had thai mint prawn noodle salad! devine!

I got the rolling stones double cd hits! remastered and sounding fab.

i go sleep now.

Didn't feel too well today but survived it.

Had the purple track suit tranny again today, ergh, he told me about his tranny friend who has alot of anal sex so much so it has ruined her bowels. "she carries a colostomy bag" and i go "whilst she's having sex?"
"yes" and i have this mental image of a bag of shit slapping against some guys arse , my day became askewed..

Early on i went to a solarium and got blasted with UV light, it was a stand-up solarium so i felt like a roast chicken.
It was fun. I will keep going till i go black and once you gone black you never turn back.

Grrrl fren!

Anyway, it's hectic weekend with birthday parties and training next week and god knows what else.