We had to take dad to the urologist today, his waterworks has been playing up so needed the 'specialist' to examine his prostate.
As he was walking up to meet us in the main street he phoned to tell me...he was about to be on the main street.

"dad, i said wait at the cafe opposite"
"your phone working now?"
"yes but i still want to get a new one. Anyway what did the doctor say?"
"he put finger up my bum"
"yes, i know dad"
"no, all the way in...like how you do it"
"what, dad, i ...er... no. The doctor was examining your prostate for medical reasons"
"it felt funny"

At this moment i was squirming as i hastily flipped through quasi-japanese clothing at yoshi jones with my mother who was quite taken by the lamps.

"these look nice, do you need a lamp?"
"no, mum... i don't"
"then forget it."

There was this peculiar aroma wafting through the shop like burnt vanilla bean and wet fresias ontop of black toffee and smoky-bacon.
My mother is wincing as the smell got stronger ,
"but mum this is the new incense, it creates a mood, takes you away to foreign market places.... lunchtime along the Nile, cinnamon tea in marakesh..."
she wasn't amused.
As we approach the doorway she says in an exact non-excitable voice to the salewoman
"you DO realize your candle isn't suppose to burn like that"
The woman turns round and gasps
"i think it's on fire!"
runs over and pears over...
"omg the wicks all burnt out, its on fire!"
Grabs hold of the glass tumbler containing the burning candle
"fuck!! it's hot"
Another saleswoman runs out with a fire extinguisher and blasts the candle spraying the window display area with foam.

Then it went silent so we left.