I met up with Amy this sunday, it was suppose to be a light brunch and cafe society but ended up at Burton on Forbes with a bottle of white and some sliced vegetable sky scraper. We had alot of catching up to do, new news, old news and news that could become more than just news.
Amy was dressed in yoga gear with her 2meter wide rolled up yoga mat which she slung gingerly over her shoulders. I was in a peculiar blue plaid shirt and sloppy jeans with jet-black crystal cross hinting at brokeback/depeche mode, well i hope so. We drank and drank.... Brendan came over and had a chat with us, he owns Burton on Forbes so we had a hoot and a squealer recounting the days we would go into class after drinks at the pub opposite waxing some poor girls brazillian.
"i got hot wax all over her orifice...nearly gave her an instant clitorectomy!!" **hoots and hollars as we slosh about on our polished pine chairs**
Looking back, i think we disgraced ourselves.
As Amy was coming out of the bathroom with her yoga gear she got stuck between the doorway and yelled out for me so i stride over to help her giggling away at her peculiar position. I grabbed the yoga mat and strung it over me and escorted her back holding her hand. Half way along the row of chairs Andrew comes in so i turn round to say hello.
This friendly exchange resulted in me swinging the yoga mat round smacking the back of a mans head to which i apologised and spun round the counter direction which resulted in the yoga mat hitting a coiffured lady-who-lunches , Amy panics and runs off but "tipsy" in her jimmy chos slipping over a step away from her chair and me trying to steady myself as i went along the line smacking the backs of peoples heads and apologising.
We broke down in glamourous hysterics
"omg u hit all those people!!! we are so sorry"
"omg your jimmy chos!! are they ok?"
Amy had spilt the contents of her bag all over the resteraunt floor, bottle of evian, dolce gabbana sunglasses et case which was huge! make up, purse "where's my louis vuitton?" , mobile phone etc... the wait-staff were lovely and helped gather all her strewn belongings.
Andrew and john joined us looking abit embarressed but managed to steady our frivolity thus we settled down.
There were quite alot of "gay-lebrities" there... we sat in the middle so our antics could not be missed, oh how i wished pete could have been there, he would sit there with his sunglasses and big hair watching ....
But this was not to be so we left 2 hrs later and over to Latteria, we sat round, posed, and waited for Fergus to turn up.
Fergus is the one to know if you want to get into the parties.

After some chit chat we nearly made it into Morgans
"sorry we close at 3pm"
"it's 10minutes to.. we just want a drink"
and the boy shut the door on us!!
Fergus - "i use to work here, fuck i owned this place "
the boy opposite the glass door mouthed " y o u-d o n 't-a n y m o r e"
LOL!!
classic.
So this haggard bunch plopped itself at bourbon, yes i know.. it's trashy - you get this beeper thing that looks like a cattle prod, when your steak is ready it buzzes.
What the fuck?????
Anyway we polished off a few more bottles.

Now at this juncture i must remind myself i actually had a family dinner on that night. It just conveniently slipped my mind so after puting amy in a taxi with her yoga mat (she was suppose to go to yoga at 5pm but , er... she was smashed at 5pm) and i slipped home only to feel the full effects of what a few bottles of white can do.

I spent the night throwing up, 5 times, i threw up 5 bloody times.
The last part was the worst with this watery bitter fluid coming out, it was the most disgusting thing i've thrown up. And why is it when you're smashed u want to poop?
it really is not a convenient time to want to have a motion when your head is halfway down a toilet ejecting parts of your doudenum.
Lulled about like a sheeps bladder on a stick all night only till 6am this morning did it all pass.
Fergus has invited us to drinks on his yacht and his apartment
"hey, plenty of free drinks, just dress sexy, both of you"
i doubt that will become an enticing thing for me anymore but i wouldn't mind doing sexy.