It's been a year already, these times seem to extinguish innocense ever more quickly.

I don't remember what i've done this year, sober? smoked less? met a rugby playing indian, worked abit more, spent less, tried to control fat, spent more time with family, no my grandfather still isn't dead.
From Marilyn manson to Amy winehouse back to Marilyn manson.
2006 was an unfulfilled year, artistically barren and emotionally anorexic with lashings of grunge pretense.
I slept alot.
Wore skinny jeans.
Got praise from a teenage goth boy about my weird shoes.
Became semi-hermit whilst old friends flew away to distant places , their distant faces.....

I don't have nicotine to occupy my mind just thoughts.

Part of my angsty youth withered away and all that is left in its wake are stormclouds of malice.

Oh but ofcourse to level my self loathing when i went into work on tuesday afternoon i was told Prem's new boyfriend she had saved herself for, the boy whom she introduced to everyone that day, holding her handbag with a bunch of roses fell asleep at the wheel of his car on the sunday and crashed into a tree in the middle of the night.
Dead at 24.
I didn't know him, i've even forgotten his name but i remember seeing how happy Prem and he was saturday afternoon.

I've got to try and make 2007 into something more than treading water.