watched Broken flowers today with Pete, was great in it's character studies, long and.. quite intense.

Ohhhh and trailer to Brokeback mountain looked very interesting, got to see that.
I wonder if Arial has the book...deb?
Is it me or do people from adelaide speak differently. the 'ah' vowel is americanised to an 'a' as in , pass=par-ss for sydney siders pass= pa-ss, the 'a' sounding american.
maybe it's just me...

I have to start cutting back on smoking, it made a bunch of old women at the table 2 meters away start coughing and spluttering in Potts point...maybe that's a good thing.

Pete went into a sex shop and bought rude playing cards.

birth - "study of the crucifixion"


Beautiful glittering purses, tea in an oversized bag and coffee on the edge of the sidewalk.. thanks for christmas eve pete!

I'm listening to sarah vaughn, they played ray charles loud at Dean's whilst i sip peppermint tea.

Hope you have a happy christmas.

Prada summer '06


Dior Homme summer '06

Just some fashion direction for Pete for what i saw on Thursday was slightly disturbing.
I went out to Rhodes, this new suburb built on a toxic waste dump once was the Olympic village to do lunch with dear old pete.
Lunch was great except for the food, it was the only place that was serving alchol so, it just had to be but fun never the less catching up .."DING!!!"

Afterwards i went into an Ikea store located at the other end of this, glasshouse complex only to be lost in there for 4hrs carrying 6 bowls and a 3 pack scissors set.

You know life just doesn't get better than being lost in an Ikea store.

Anyway, later in the evening had dinner with Andrew,Tim, and three other people i hadn't met before and now, forgotten their names. Dined at Burton&Forbes, a newish resteraunt.
Roast duck with apples and walnuts was quite delicious.

Thus was my adventurous thursday, from one end of the city to the other, from 'emo-ish' to Gucci-army browns.

Clubbing

It has been an artistic hell-hole lately, nothing to do, nothing to write about.

However, i have started on my 'study of the crucifixion' canvas, at the moment it looks like a purple blob, finalised christmas shopping, have to wrap those presents though... and i went out clubbing last night.

I was feeling particularly dis-interested in it all but wanted to just escape for a bit amongst the electro-inspired tribal beats, gin filled euphoria. I was hoping i could observe Pete squirming in the primal environment of Pheonix but he was a few meters away from a cafe i was rendevouing which lead him somewhere along oxford street and then back into hyde park being harrassed by random strangers.

Anyway, so descending the underworld of clubland detaching myself from this epileptic world and threw myself round for 3 hrs.
I've made it 4a.m my cut off point because i want to be presentable on sundays for cafe society.
Ben drayton took us on a peculiar trip with forrays into funk, electro, hip hop but kept it solid on the tribal front. At times he lost us, so much for artists.
I'm interested in the Thursday nights there, "minimalist german electronica" can you imagine the severity?
On new years mandy rollins (omg God is a woman) will be doing 10 till 10 set. Now she's juicy-tribal.. it's like having an orgasm, continuously, popular with lesbians however since it will be a public holiday the next day... i think it will be very popular.

Whilst thrashing about last night i accidentally burped in the face of a really cute guy.

Today was, difficult.
I limped round latteria, stanley street cafes and helped andrew wrap some christmas presents, i accidentally wrapped my shoes and spent the whole afternoon looking for them.

ah.

I think i'm back.

Clifford still

"Abstraction allows man to see with his mind what he cannot physically see with his eyes. . . . Abstract art enables the artist to perceive beyond the tangible, to extract the infinite out of the finite. It is the emancipation of the mind. It is an explosion into unknown areas."
Arshile Gorky (1904-1948

Crop circle device.

What am i doing awake at 9:30am on a sunday?
i can't lay in bed for more than 8 hours now, my back starts to to ache like hell. Yes, even working 15hours is too much for my body.. i'm not meant for work you know.
So this week has been eventful for the first half, with drinks and party poppers. Today i have to head out somewhere west to say goodbye to a dear friend as she is going back to melbourne which reminds me, i have to wrap her gift. I wish i had a gift wrapping section at home like in a dept. store. I'm so not into wrapping.

Last night was our little christmas get together. Old friends, new friends, bottles of champagne and sake.
We had pre-party drinks at andrews with zoe, augustine, and brendan popping over. We talked about art and the apartment,glass after glass with a few party poppers streaming the air.
Then we had dinner at JuJus till we couldn't eat nor drink anymore, climbing the stairs back up was a challenge. I lost a shoe two-steps from the top, it went tumbling down to the bottom.

I've been listening to Yoko ono lately, 'everyman everywoman' (basement jaxx remix) and studying Jackson pollock.

I saw something very distressing today.

Please Pete, buy Kate a tube of lipbalm when you get paid.

Coffee and Newtown, shops with Kimono lampshades and a girl with sky-blue eyes lifting a jar of vaseline out of her handbag and applying it to her lips.

After all this time, finally you can see what i love to do.

It takes me away from everything by taking me to it's core, it's my life-long addiction.

"There is an incredibly brilliant essay written by T.S. Elliot called Tradition and the Individual Talent. His idea is that for something to stand the test of time, to be truly original, it has to fit into the tradition. It's only time that allows you to know whether it really did fit into the tradition. And people trying to be different are never different. It's people who are following their deep interest who discover what's original about the past."

Vivienne Westwood

Having finally gotten over the shock of being rejected so quickly by a recruitment/temp agency i'm feeling a little bit vague.
I spent the whole day looking for possible career choices, even applied for a few ,
one was so way out that i said so in the cover letter.
Rejection feeds on our vunerabilities.
Eventually i had a mini-break down and went to bed swirling in an ocean of shadows.
The beauty in anger and fear, it's tannins stinging consciousness it's horrifying yet beautiful.

Then i got out of bed, wrote 3 poems and sent them to italy.

i'll be 32 next year yet still i don't know what i want.

Things i have to do before Christmas.

Buy something gorgeous for myself , note White picket fence.

Vacuum my room

Do something with my hair, i'm tempted to ask pete to slice it with a razor.

Come up with a new attitude, i'm scaring too many people with the current one ;)

More schemes.

Re-educate my wardrobe. Am currently dying a pair of jeans i have painted with lychee-tea, darken the hue of my shoes, bash-up some shirts.

Get 'The Doors' greatest hits cd.

to believe finally, "nothing is perfection"

Spent thursday out on the town with Pete, running round Gucci and Prada throwing 24karat attitude.
There is nothing wrong with buying jeans at Prada.
I would have if it wasn't for that annoying itallian salesman on speed.
The bland waiter at lindt cafe copped it direct, it's not a good idea to ask what we're doing 5minutes after we had ordered , "CAKE!!" .

I'm so appreciative of Pete not making a fuss over my smoking and even had a few puffs, most impressive.

We managed to get it together at a wonderful Japanese minimalist resteraunt ontop of the Queen victoria building, Japanese minimalist mixed into victoriana, so beguiling. That's when the beautiful Sar-reh joined us, an iranian princess slightly frayed at the edges.
We giggled and bounced about, through dusk at Hyde park into the boho-rock realm of Lounge. There we settled to some more smokes and drinks, a strange conversation with tree on a mobile phone and moments of wildness. Slowly the evening gathered some more exs, friends, people of relative importance all co-joining in a dimly lit evening of paper-thin pizza, fish cakes and more ..drinks.

What happened afterwards i wont elborate for we went our seperate ways and those stories best told by fresh voices however some of us actually went home .

I've been listening to The Doors all day today and painted a pair of old jeans.

Realised i need a new digital camera and actually use it so i can print enlarged images.

Damn pixels.

Been spending some time with N. who will be going Melb. soon, i'll miss her and her wacky husband, we are deadly together coming up with the most ridiculous schemes and laughing our heads off.

Let's not talk about work, it's becoming a farce.

I went into the city before heading into hell to buy some more.. mmm.. cigarillos at a tiny cigar place in the strand owned by the.. cigar nazi.
When i first went there and asked for a dupont she looks me up and down and hands me a softer vanilla flavoured cigarillo and a dutch mini.
"You try this first, this one good"
In my pretentious voice i asked if there were better, havana made , she didn't even batter an eyelid "$25 thanks, why u still standing there?"
But she was right, the vanilla was easy and accessable and the dutch for a dare was, well, very strong and if i couldn't do dutch how am i suppose to do Havana and Cuban?

Ah.

Today she smiled as i asked for another tin of vanillas, "you like this? good. try this one, very popular"
it's a chcolate flavoured one that's 2cm longer due to a filter.
Did she overheard cafe society talking about some skinny boy smoking cigarillos with bits of tabacco stuck on his lips?

Long and phallic with sweetness of chocolate, i had to use my Tiffany's cotton bag to hold them.

I was told by 'mu hairdressers' to move further away from the seat i sitting at Latteria today because... "your cigar smoke is coming into our shop"
I kind of felt like i was dicrimminated against but then.... do i really care?
Well after 3 cigars later, i moved, onto Pablos vice.

Along the way i bump into my ex with... my best friend.
Hm.

Had a few more and pineapple/mango juice... it's my little bit of health. And i nearly fell off the chaise, they have a bloody wooden roman-chaise at pablos vice along a steep incline.

Some of my cigar smoke went into their tiny cafe but i didn't get any orders so.. i gave them a generous tip.

The world, it's inhabitants seem so placid and delicious as i trip-a-la-palooza George street, Pitt street hop-scotching through Town hall waving to blue flags of kinokuniya into my favourite crystal shop to be shot with a million rainbow razor blades.

oh..weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.............. kak!

My eyes are bloodshot and lips hungry for more 30 second delay.

What is your ideal man?

Interesting question and of all things i've asked myself i haven't asked what is my type of man.

I don't know.

Even visually i have trouble focusing on what type i prefer.

I find physical attraction in all races, shapes and sizes except i guess, extremes but then i'm attracted to them psychologically because introversion.

I find vunerability sexy.

Natural , is sexy.

Smells are sexy but not overwhelming. Prefably mixed with non-human smells.

Smell of Brandy is sexy.

Honesty is sexy ? i hope so.


this is stupid, i feel terribly embarrassed.

I've been made semi-part-time now.. i don't know what it means except i'll have even more time on my hands.
The new clinic isn't doing so well... it's eating away at profits (moan) so they have decided to cut staff working hours.
I felt quite upset when i heard i was first off the rank considering all the client PR work been done lately, oh well, now i only come in for my clients which means, i don't have to do any other work.
I've had enough of throwing all my energy into the clinic when there's very little credit given, it took me this long to realise it, the rest of the team knew ages ago.

So, anyway it means i can start working on my art projects.
I want to document a friend of mine, greg, who is going to do some sculpture with his welding machine. Hopefully there will be plenty of shirtless hunky male action going on with bits of art but who knows... but i want to document the creative process and how it affects a person. I also need to branch out with my photography , outside controlled environments.
And there's Pete, he will be in sydney and i will try and make him my muse/model.

oh and by the way, i bought 'Little Britain' on dvd.... the gay guy is a killer.

Talk to me about the meaning of life.....


From roaches to hiccups in sobriety to elementals, perception is swirling up between my lips.

It's a disgusting habit, so is you.

And tomorrow i will sit with you and have political debates and artisitc freewill, an occasional mythology to keep step-ahead.

We become more than imposters but, poorly paid actors drowning in strange verses.

Hello i think i love you.

The days are long pointing upward it's apex a long,long sigh.
This moment has passed whilst that moment will never eventuate so what has passed is inhaled for what atomised,
a clever muse.

ergh.. i'm just really bored right now. work has gone slow, spent most of this week calling up old clients.

And it's hot. so bloody hot.

I think i'll go shopping tomorrow, goodnight.

I felt much better today so i decided to venture out into cafe-land with my new slimmer waistline.
Plopped down at Latteria for peppermint tea and a slice of their uber-banana bread with andrew and decklin.
Although i've heard alot about decklin i've never met him until now and i know why.
He doesn't stop talking about anything. He is one stream of consciousness without the english breeding.
He asked me..."do you have alot of trousers or do u have a mix of shirts and trousers" as i was trying to be cool at white picket fence. I laughed, it was my only reaction i could fathom.
He didn't stop talking till i left andrews yet still i can still hear him waffling on about nothing.

Thank goodness for cigarettes or i would have punched his mouth in.

Other than that,Jae has been posting all these naughty pictures which seem to get me abit hot and bothered.
Being male aint all that great.