This week has been recovery, recovery from the excess of last saturday and sunday, i can't believe i went to the powerhouse on a hangover. Too much information to digest when all you can think about is smoked ham on geyre cheese.

Rearranged furniture, note to self, avoid moving antique furniture by self because.. it's damn heavy.

Floated around eastgardens and ikea looking for inspiration only to come away with confusing swedish design concepts. When has a piece of milky plastic become a window for wardrobe?

However i did buy some "ultra-shine hair mist" in a glossy orange bottle. I shall use it when i meet Pete for lunch.

i've noticed i'm becoming more non-reactive... a car could crash infront of me these days and i wouldn't bat an eyelid. Just dial 000 whilst making sure my pout is in place. Maybe nothing is new anymore.
This laconica has advantages such as empowering space integration and self fulfilling function rather than procrastinating or avoidance, they go hand in hand don't they. One has a cooler face.

clubbin

I went clubbing this weekend.

It's been 3months since i last went and nothing has changed, much.

I had promised yuiji several times that i would go to ARQ with him for a trance-induced-night, laser show, smiley faces and the delusion of drifting off onto kaleidoscope of binary-refraction and electronica.
Since i think this would be his last time in Australia since his boyfriend is inflating ever-so-frequently that we believe he will pop if something sharp comes in contact with him.

So the night started with rearranging andrews apt. living room to accommodate the auto-inflating li-lo.
They are so much fun, i want one.
Whilst rumagin through andrews things for bedsheets, pillow cases etc i discover he uses extra-large sized condoms.
I don't know how to take that as we are purely-platonic and very much non-contact friends. I don't think i have ever hugged him in a happy way or even touched him unlike everyone else.
Geez...
But anyway that all done i headed out to the midnight shift to meet up with yuji and masa. We hung round like poses rejecting everyone one who even tried to get near us.
hurriedly gym toned boys with generic spikyhaircuts in polotops and grampas emulating in vain.
We just don't do shift patrons.
When we all had enough (when everybody had enough of us) we left for trance-heaven. Through the auto-revolving doors which i once slammed into the non-revolving section bouncing off and onto the ground in my early years of frenzism. We crossed the dance floor, we climbed the neon lined steps to the vip upstairs, we weren't vip but we just walk past the security.
It's all about the attitude.
You know it works when security welcomes u rather than wave a metal detector over you.
We were too scary to question.
We strutted, sat, then strutted some more.. and descended into the chill-out 3rd floor which was filled with... fat girls in what best described as rape of glomesh and nylon.
"Too many fat girls" yuiji cried as he sat down with a ciggerette.
Masa and i wiggled abit only to have a fat girls arse smack right into my thigh. "what the..."
i looked at her like she had taken holiday snaps at aushwitz.
She ran away..lol. Literally.
Mr young-cute-blonde-barman came over to ask yuiji to smoke upstairs... he was holding semi-empty glass of beer collected on one of his rounds.. yuiji drew one deep nicotine hit and dropped it into the semi-empty beer glass got up and walked off.
We walked off like we own the place, such posers, such insolence....in the lobby we giggled like little japanese school girls.

I stayed for an hour... wiggled abit to some house-mix..trance is dead at ARQ. We were very disappointed. I can only take so much of Britney remixes.
So i left there at 1:30 and headed down to my fave pheonix. It was packed as usual..and yes.. the usual people all shirtless, on-heat and throwing themselves around to electro-tribal and abit of retro-remix, the women too.
Managed to drag myself back to andrews round 4... unwound then...floated on a velvet-lined cloud amongst old-library card shelves and restored jet-black fireplace, deepcaramel wild oakboards and a huge brown spider up on the left hand corner.

I slept well.

conv. 134

aitai: hi
eucharist: geez ur in boston
aitai: yeah but i like gam and cam and cyber
eucharist: rofl
eucharist: congratulations
aitai: r u top bottom?
eucharist: both
aitai: wow..
aitai: vers btm here..
aitai: have u topped white guy?
eucharist: lol
eucharist: have i>?
eucharist: i topped everything
aitai: hot
aitai: how big is ur cock?
eucharist: huh.. i havent measured it
aitai: oh i have to measure it in person? :)
eucharist: yer..fly over
aitai: have u ever been verbal top?
eucharist: ???
eucharist: what on earth is that
aitai: telling him to suck u.. if he likes it.. if he
wants it.. etc
eucharist: er.. no.. i just do em
eucharist: its not like im gonna write a book

conversation 387

warrantripley: hi eu, how r u?
eucharist: hihi
eucharist: tired as fuck
eucharist: u?
warrantripley: really?
warrantripley: how come?
warrantripley: no, I've got plenty of energy hehe
eucharist: luckty u
eucharist: just back from work
warrantripley: I know-wow-u work late!!
eucharist: ur 86?
eucharist: gezus christ
warrantripley: hey-u r tall for an asian guy-I'm
190cms too
eucharist: ur 86
warrantripley: 44
eucharist: close enough
eucharist: lol why u meet alot of short asains
warrantripley: haha thanks for that
eucharist: they come up to ur knees
warrantripley: u could say a good height
warrantripley: LOL
eucharist: whay do u hav so much energy
warrantripley: just a guy that has lots of stamina i
guess-how come u work so late?
eucharist: well its been a quiet night on the wall
eucharist: not many punters
warrantripley: er right
eucharist: so what do u do
eucharist: besides short asians
warrantripley: well I could say I used to be
commerical too.....
warrantripley: actually I like to do tall asians
eucharist: is that a hint?
warrantripley: work in admin
warrantripley: could be
eucharist: admin is good
warrantripley: cute glasses are a plus too
warrantripley: what do u do when not on the
wall?
eucharist: crotchet
warrantripley: ok, a comedian
eucharist: lol
warrantripley: hooker is better
eucharist: have u seen an asian comedian
before?
eucharist: lol
warrantripley: nope
eucharist: yer cheap asian boy for gwm
warrantripley: theres always a first time
eucharist: loll
warrantripley: well, theres plenty of those too
eucharist: they going for a song in bali these
days
warrantripley: so u work in a restaurant?
eucharist: rofl
eucharist: in a laundramat
warrantripley: thats different!
warrantripley: u look too intellectual to me-
warrantripley: the glasses are a give away
warrantripley: probabaly a film student
eucharist: its just the glasses..lol
eucharist: im just another cheap asian whore
standing round the shift
eucharist: waiting for a free meal
warrantripley: haha
eucharist: kakaka
warrantripley: not expensive?
eucharist: nah.. a vb
eucharist: and im yours
warrantripley: hmmm, easy?
eucharist: yes...asians and alcohol
eucharist: u know the deal
warrantripley: how about a hard cock instead
eucharist: how about a small dog thrown in as
bonus extra
warrantripley: nah, dont do kink
eucharist: ppity
warrantripley: just cute asian butt
eucharist: i like little dogs
warrantripley: no doubt u can find it here
eucharist: they vibrate like crazy when u
sufforcate them
warrantripley: good luckhaha ok
eucharist: ok

.

Poor J. it's been 3months or so now but he doesn't seem to be able to get over the relationship that didn't really happen. Apparently he's in rehab. i doubt it.
I guess i did like him, he was the first guy i met who actually had quality furnishings and beefy body opposed to fat or ambiguous. WHatever.

Had anothe rmeeting with op.manager, she seems keen to address issues which is good and listen to what we have to say. My hours may increase..i don't know... we'll see. Either way i don't care.

Had a big chat with bernie tonight whilst doing her chin, she's off to france to persue her french lover.. hahaha.. fantastic... i'll miss her as she is one of the more fun clinets...loud..real and genuine.
Enjoy your baguette, missy.

i have a bikini and ear tomorrow.....

.

i found this quite amusing, note the facial expressions.....

Things i been doin..

- buying DVDs... roman polanski...drifted away ... kill bill v1....colour purple.. angel at my table...head on....aviator etc...

-finally watched 'mysterious skin' it's over rated although the percpective is unique. why it got an r-rating i never know... maybe it's the violence plus sex scene opposed to just sex or just mindless violence..

-ate a bad peanut m&m whilst watching 'mysterious skin' but luckily made it back in time. i'm svelte again, yay.

- Actually buying books when in bookshop rather than walking round looking pretentiously intellectual.. i bought and reading Edgar allan poe, ellen feldman (the boy who loved anne frank) and Armand marie leroi (mutants) .

- scared a goodlooking guy whilst walking past in newtown today. I was walking as i do.. towards the dendy and he comes along..mmm then he cowers, yes, cowers behind this girl as i walk past.
It may be my prada glasses..it may be my brooding slightly-gothic-slightly adrogenous oblivious-chic....whatever.
but i scared that little man, unintentionally.

- have a facination with greek boys but i know it's a passing phase like their looks...pass 30 and it's bye-bye baby.
i blame alex dimitriatiaisisopopoploplopoplos

-have an interest in soundtracks..like the movie wasn't enough but i'm looking for a cheap 'lost in translation' cd soundtrack (attempting to download).

- did i say i've been reading books??

- re-configured my old grey-airport so now i can use it again.

-discovered i own a miniture hurricane lamp and 'church candles'

- i just realised i forgot to pay my internet connection...ergh

Hammerhead - James reyne

Be my ritual
Be my one desire
Be my light be my pure delight
Be my purifier
You'll never know what you do to me
Five times a day
My self distruction you'll over see
Don't go don't go away

Just a touch of you
Just a taste
Like kissing God is what we do
Let's go to waste
You'll never know what you do to me
So sublime
You're like the Devil in Heaven
Every everytime

You've been hanging with the nicest people
Hammerhead
Some silken slip of evil
Hammerhead

Take food from my mouth
Take my sex
Take my friends take my lovers
Here take this
You'll never know what you do to me
Maybe I'm wrong
Let's take this journey together
Please come please come along
Please come please come along

binge and purge

Having dad back is great because i can avoid taking public transport.

Had an intense hour long meeting with the new operations manager this week, she asked me how best to approach and implement 'systems' (here we go again) with the staff.. she's heard of our reputation, we reduced a former caltex manager to a nervous wreck after dealing with us for several months and a 'special' school teacher who has tackled all sorts of 'troubled' teenagers curl-up in a corner and rendered mute. . We're either the devil incarnate or cursed so i told her to pray.
She went pale.

My hair is long and i'm being one of the crowd, it is as excillerating as being out of the crowd as you can get away with being merely 'another face in the crowd' .

It will force exploration of ones personality rather than an assumed position.

I'm making myself approachable in a visual sense.

I used hair-colourant-remover today to remove all the colours that have been in my hair, layers of reds, browns, blacks to my totally natural state of colour. I feel liberated, i feel naked amongst a world of shattered rainbows.

i'm fat

busy day, had a long talk with bernice , she's going to france to be with her french boyfriend soon. So we had the chat.
Bought some new clothes, i'm going cheap, buying anodized clothes of no substance or style. Just utlilatasim..i made that word up.. but basically non-descrip. clothes that set no style.
Boring clothes.
Greys, flannel, unstructured but extra small in size so it's slightly edgy in body shape which means i have to start getting into shape.
I'm getting old, my body is thickening and i don't like it.
i have to cut the cream cakes.

death becomes thee

oh shit, i'm doing titles now.. i'm running on empty creativity and maximum non-chalance but i want to be passionate about something...
crap.

Have a family fathers day lunch tomorrow which i must attend so they say. I thought grampa was dead.
No really.
But apparently he's still alive having elderly wet dreams about 19yrold plump chinese girls from the mainland.

He's getting more than i am recently.

I was asked as i flashed my past glorious ..photos.. "umm have you gained weight?" "no, i meant in your face?"
I nearly died. I think i did slip into mild concussion for 2 seconds... i'm fat!!! oh gawd.
"no, i meant you seem more bulkier than your previous pics"

bulkier? i've become a large piece of ikea furniture.

Anyway, today was alright, got through the chaos that is saturday and i'm booked out next week be it for two afternoons. I'm having reservations on actually going fulltime now if offered. I think i will just increase hourly rather than going the full-hog.
When u balance out the pay and how much we are actually making, it doesn't seem fair.
Going to keep my options open for now..

watched abit of the rugby union this evening, god.. i nearly creamed my boxers.

i need a man soon before i turn into some pervert or start massacaring ants or something..