I awoke to the most nauseating head ache at one side of my head yesterday morning.
For a moment i thought i could do some fabulous private hospital with pink walls, cable tv and monogramed disposable slippers but it was only a head ache.
Although the sharp precise pain has subsided i'm feeling sleepy. Maybe i'll slowly fall into a coma and wake up 50yrs later to be a media celbrity "wakes up from 50yr sleep" or fade into obscurity within the health system.
I felt better after a cup of coffee.
It's amazing how powerful withdrawl can be.

So, work today and i'm not going out this week because i want to try and live this budget. Last week i ended up spending twice as much as i normal.

So i will be doing domestic things....

i'm bored so just have a perve at all these hot guys.....

The day after.

Managed to meet up with John this afternoon for coffee before work which was nice and i lent him the 5th series of abfab and we chatted about this hot red-head british chef holding a bottle of vodka, i mean that's the ultimate isn't it? Red-head good looking, can cook and a bottle of vodka. We canvased his sex addiction and that american at an international hotel.
Then it was back to work.
I had 4 hrs with muscle-bank guy which was easy but you know, these days are frought with insecurities and escapism.
Glad i didn't go into Hermes stepping out with tea-sets and blankets, styed home and did domestics like, wash the blinds and eat turkish delight ice cream.

Dinner with gav was great! we had sushi and seaseme ice cream, very yummy!
Then hit the newtown hotel which was littered with old men and 40year olds trying to look 25 and boys looking for a root. This I.T guy kept waving at gav and came up to us and chatted. He was weird, no like in a creepy sense.
Anyway gav went round and tried to pick up a blonde boy at the pin ball machine kekekekek just kidding.... it was nice to catch up . He's such a lovely boy that he'll make some gay-boy very happy so if you're reading this blog (just because u don't comment doesn't mean i don't know whose been here..hehehe) and gay and..er..male then give me a buzz so i can hook u up with mr gav..haha!
I've also started writing again, i've been meaning to for a while, seriously and puting it in a formal sense , so i've started and it's quite interesting. I wont post it, it shouldn't be an exercise in self flagelation .

So, tonight i've eaten so much it's not funny, i'm bloated beyond belief, adolecent lobster, obese oysters, wild chicken (they run round till you chase them) etc etc, it's been too much food.

What does one do for 4hrs before a dinner date? log into a net cafe ofcourse since everybody has deserted me.
Hit several cafes and kino per usual, i'm so bored in the city.
I was going to watch a movie but thought, i might catch one with john, he's been moody of late .
I find blogging in public rather disconcerning.

oh and Gav if ur reading this please call/message me cos i lost ur number.

Anyway, it's 6pm and i'm in some weird net cafe on newtown spending my time, i bought a skinny-squirrel thing for winter, "is it a gerbil?" i ask and the lady looks up and pauses, and pauses and then says, "i don't think so, what does it say?"
Anyway, i received an imaginary email from a John, no not one of those johns but an imaginary one with imginary hair. He seeks advice.

"dear flotis,

i know that's not your name but since i'm not real i assume you're not either so i wont get too personal with the greeting.
I've emailed you to ask for some advice as i have read your blog and found it to be immensly informative and deeply moving in an unrealistic way.
You see, i've been dating a guy recently, for about 6months but we havent done anything or said anything to each other however i think we're a couple because, i think it to be. I wondered out of your infinte wisdom could you advise me what to do to make it more offical, more you know, intensity.
Thanks.

John. "

Well John, thank you for emailing me, i'm most flattered.
In my years of experience i have come to the conclusion that it is sometimes best not to ask too many questions and to just do what your heart tells you to. Go for your instincs, if you want to have sex with him in the middle of peak hour traffic then just do it, don't ask, don't fret. However, be sure to wear something fabulous because you never know when you will be filmed and those speed cameras are always present so look gorgeous . Oh and be sure to wear fantastic shoes, you never know when your legs will be higher than your head.
Good luck all the best.

oh and one secret i have is to make sure your shoes are well polished so the light reflects and becomes your mini-spotlight.

"So hot you could cook a cassarole on the head of a penis" someone once said.
So what do i do? go watch a movie.
Headed out to Dendy and watched A guide to recognising your saints , what a brilliant title.
Run of the mill storyline, father-son-issues, mistakes of youth, alot of angst and Tatum channing without a shirt looking hot.
I found the direction abit cliche , i even rolled my eyes round at some scenes.
However it was about the story and that it did very well, the acting not-bad too, i was surprised. I guess we could all relate to the story, boy grows up in rough area wanting to get out, goes and comes back years later to deal with times cruel hand. Abit of a teary movie, i found myself with eyelash-stuck-in-my-eye moments, ah.. sometimes you got to cry it out, atleast it was in a dark cinema with 6 people sparsly scattered unlike that brokeback mountain movie with pete, gawd, more gays packed in a cinema than free-entry at a bathhouse sweetie.
I'm thinking what i could do tomorrow since i have the day off, another movie? Borat is being released or shopping or a facial. I don't know...

Gonna try and be busy till 7ish, dinner with Gav.

You should go read Johnny Hazzards blog, it's umm.....enlightening.
It's warm again more befitting the spring/summer season.Not much has happened except for some dvd purchases, David Bowies ziggy stardust concert and petshopboys documentary which took me back to when i first heard 'westend girls' on the radio. I don't think i had pubic hair back then.. it seemed such a long time.
Work dramas but then what else is new, i just keep out of it and smile and nod to the usual muted distain.
I popped into an Apple computer store in the city on friday, i just adore the 24inch imac, it's so big! and the resolution so clear and bright.
Saw a lovely cargo-bag at funkis, the swedish concept store.
I may buy it.
You see my dear friend nick said to me lastweek he was surviving on $50 spending money a week.
I thought that was absurd, how can anyone get by with $50 a week, a moderate lunch goes for more than $50 however in some ways it has inspired me to cut back on my expenditure . So i thought could i survive on $50 and tried to this week, i managed on $150 but that was quite a cut. I did wall cafe instead of Forbes and burton, had coffee at bookshop instead of latteria,. not that they're that expensive, turned down the Louis vuitton coin purse.
However i did get a manicure and footspa treatment called of all things 'foot de-paris'.
If i didin't give into that weakness i would have made it by with $50.
I'm playing petshopboys latest offering 'minimal' on constant rotation.
However here's Paninaro, the song i first danced to in a gay club, well only one i can remember back them, i was 16? and very thin in tight black singlet and versace cotton/lyrca knit pants that left very little to the imagination.

Bored and cold.
Summer pissed off behind a cloud of white bloody christmas.
Abit of work, feeling very bored, i want to paint i want write however there is the reality of work .
Watched old pet shop boys videos, brought back memories, good times, less worry and stress the biggest deal was having enough time to change from daywear to evening.
Now we're merely treading in a sea of anticipation.

Private health insurance seems enticing and a burberry trenchcoat to hide from the world.

Boredom is time masturbating.

Had my friday off at forbes and burton. Amy couldn't make it but i did catch up with Zoe and her kiddies, augustine and saffron, on her way to the blue mountains for some meditation. Tara was there and immediately got me a drink, "drink?"
"why , yes tara!"

Had a peculiar baramundi fillet on a laksa base. It really didin't need the laksa base .
But it was lovely to be able to enjoy my 'long-lunch' friday.
And then i went shopping.
There was the usual, pastel soft-shaped 80's dayglo t-shirts, singlets and ridiculous tooth-pick jeans. And then i saw one that wasn't too skinny on the leg but still in that new-age shape of, ultra-thin. There's a fine line between toothpick and thin-legged but we swapped weightloss options at white-picket-fence and bitched about fashion.
"i thought i would go on lite-and-easy cos they deliever to your door but they rejected me at the inital consultation, said i was too thin!"
I suggested stomache-stapling and bought the skinny jeans.
Then coffee at latteria and some heavy smokes. I don't know where the chinese woman got these cigarillos from but, i nearly passed out whilst purched on a bongo drum.

Then today at work, i cleaned all the cupboards and went home 2hrs early, i wasn't in the mood and it was so lovely and sunny outside all the boys heading out to bondi beach... i just wasn't in the mood walking away , haughty and throwing attitude with my 'nobody gives a shit' badge.

12.11.06 sunday update. 9pm

Oh i had so much fun, drinks with amy and nick on the balcony of the Tilbury despite the monotonous dj mix of music which lacked any character but a bottle of wine and life is good.
We caught up with things, talked about gorgeous things, amy got shit-face drunk at the L.V. party and dropped all the contents from handbag onto the floor! nick is going through detox, no drinking and rolling tobacco because it makes him smoke less but tonight he drank.
The sunset over sydney sky line was magical, distant fireworks and the smell of the sea just meters away.
I met up with John earlier on and did Glebe, Le petit frois or something, that chocolate cafe Pete so much loves (it was packed) and we had coffee at upstairs connected-cafe, had this gorgeous south american waiter, gorgeous and..south american, although he could be spanish but who cares.
He was gorgeous.
We talked and laughed with his flatmate and his new boy some young, boy in the throes of a dior-sunglasses moment. Young people have such an interesting perspective on fashion.
Before, we had a lovely brunch at this pub-come-cafe nearby, the food was crap but had this lovely young student jazz band playing so it was nice to experience, studenty-crap-food-but-lovely-retro interior. I felt all studenty, chippendale is changing, all be it slowly.
I helped fold bedsheets and sat on a hairy sofa before i disappeared over to latteria for coffee and meeting up with Amy and nick.
Such a busy social sunday i feel quite satisfied.

I think this week ought to be quiet which means i can catch-up with Amy on friday.
We'll do Forbes and Burton and get hideously drunk sliding off the beechwood chairs onto post-modernist concrete floors.
Caught up with John on the weekend for coffee and cakes at Latteria, boy i miss that place, so pretentious yet laughing at itself. We hit David jones and Myer after, he tried on this DKNY suit which just didn't work and i kept umming and ahhing about cargo pants. Mens common-clothes seem to have come down in price, i mean really for that trash it ought to be under $50 but for some weird reason they were trying to flog it off round $60.
I don't mind some generic basics, one of my favourite pieces is a pair of linen pants from god-forbid giordano. Easy to wear in hot weather.
I'm not all about labels.
One of my worse pieces is a military inspired collarless shirt by Gucci which looks like a confused kaftan when i wear it.
I've never worn it out, i don't know how to bloody wear it besides lounging round in an apartment with no pants on.
I got some anime movies today, 'wicked city' which is supposedly sexually and violently explicit, yes there's sex and violence but then it is manga , also i got 'Blood, the last vampire' which i seen before but had to get it for only $12.
I've got to get out of this spending loop i've always encircled. I pounced into Longchamp on tuesday eyeing a fabulous multi-zip bag which u can change it's size by unzipping it into sections but i refrained and walked on by.
I do however want a sailors sling-duffle bag. Louis vuittton does one but there must be others and then on Tuesday night C. showed me her new Allegra versace sized handbag (pre-weight gain). God i love Allegra, so thin she makes the models who wear her named-clothes look like heffers. C. managed to fit a mobile phone, purse, keys, ipod mini full sized lipgloss in it!! i was in awe at the orrange-mont' as i had my huge messenger bag and all i had in it was L.V organiser , ipod nano and sunglasses darlings.
Maybe i need a smaller bag instead of some huge armed-forces duffle bag?
I don't like carry-alls as u can't put them round the shoulder, i need my fingers free for shopping.
And no more backpacks!
I decided to not replace my Prada one, i need to re-group and focus on what size is best suited to my lifestyle. You know bigger isn't always better and too small renders things, ineffectual.
Just like men really.

Even more work! To think this week was going to settle down so i can reclaim my cafe days ended up with more intensity

We have a new girl starting up next week so i might get a break next week, oh how i miss Latteria and long blacks whose strength is in the girth of arabica and banana bread! fat upon fat with more, fat.

Anyway, i bought an ipod nano out of sheer fustration and an incident on tuesday in an elongated bus to drummoyne. So there i was bouncing along a new airconditioned statetransit bus with a delightful driver and strange french woman in gypsy shawl berating her sister about not getting butter.
"but you didn't get real butter. Just this margaret-in-a-tin sheeet!"
"this sheeet!"
She waves the container of margerine in the air.
she kept going on about it with her sister grumbling in french but some hare krishna mantra started to play on my diskman so i decided to change disks to Enrique eglasis. I swear that boy just make me ooze precum on public transport, he's so hot! songs..omg! too much sexiness.
So with one swift hand to bag action i open the diskman and took disk out and tried to load in new disk, you know u can do it when you've done it so many times
All of a sudden the bus swerves round a bend and my enrique eglasis disk flies off my fingers , hits the frenchwomans shoulder and spins onto the floor all the way to the front of the bus.
"Sheeeeet!"
I go running after it, the bus straightens up so i go flying on the floor front first , someone screams, the bus driver hits the brakes and i go sliding down to the front stopping at the special high-chair for special people which so happens to be occupied by a man with coke bottle glasses and wearing an australian flag sun visor with dribble stains on his "i'm Australian" t-shirt.
He just looks at me.
I look up at mr bus driver, he isn't happy, everyone is giggling or gasping... i pick myself off the floor with my enrique eglasis cd.
Bus driver turns to me and goes " i hope it's worth it"
and i'm all flusted trying to look calm but really, my hair was a mess
"..yes, it's enrique eglasis"
Sometimes you just got to laugh.. i walked back to my seat giggling .

So on wednesday i went and bought an ipod nano and today i went and bought a protective skin which looks like a light blue condom and tomorrow i'll go and buy myself some dignity at victorias bloody basement.