I awoke to the most nauseating head ache at one side of my head yesterday morning.
For a moment i thought i could do some fabulous private hospital with pink walls, cable tv and monogramed disposable slippers but it was only a head ache.
Although the sharp precise pain has subsided i'm feeling sleepy. Maybe i'll slowly fall into a coma and wake up 50yrs later to be a media celbrity "wakes up from 50yr sleep" or fade into obscurity within the health system.
I felt better after a cup of coffee.
It's amazing how powerful withdrawl can be.

So, work today and i'm not going out this week because i want to try and live this budget. Last week i ended up spending twice as much as i normal.

So i will be doing domestic things....

i'm bored so just have a perve at all these hot guys.....

The day after.

Managed to meet up with John this afternoon for coffee before work which was nice and i lent him the 5th series of abfab and we chatted about this hot red-head british chef holding a bottle of vodka, i mean that's the ultimate isn't it? Red-head good looking, can cook and a bottle of vodka. We canvased his sex addiction and that american at an international hotel.
Then it was back to work.
I had 4 hrs with muscle-bank guy which was easy but you know, these days are frought with insecurities and escapism.
Glad i didn't go into Hermes stepping out with tea-sets and blankets, styed home and did domestics like, wash the blinds and eat turkish delight ice cream.

Dinner with gav was great! we had sushi and seaseme ice cream, very yummy!
Then hit the newtown hotel which was littered with old men and 40year olds trying to look 25 and boys looking for a root. This I.T guy kept waving at gav and came up to us and chatted. He was weird, no like in a creepy sense.
Anyway gav went round and tried to pick up a blonde boy at the pin ball machine kekekekek just kidding.... it was nice to catch up . He's such a lovely boy that he'll make some gay-boy very happy so if you're reading this blog (just because u don't comment doesn't mean i don't know whose been here..hehehe) and gay and..er..male then give me a buzz so i can hook u up with mr gav..haha!
I've also started writing again, i've been meaning to for a while, seriously and puting it in a formal sense , so i've started and it's quite interesting. I wont post it, it shouldn't be an exercise in self flagelation .

So, tonight i've eaten so much it's not funny, i'm bloated beyond belief, adolecent lobster, obese oysters, wild chicken (they run round till you chase them) etc etc, it's been too much food.

What does one do for 4hrs before a dinner date? log into a net cafe ofcourse since everybody has deserted me.
Hit several cafes and kino per usual, i'm so bored in the city.
I was going to watch a movie but thought, i might catch one with john, he's been moody of late .
I find blogging in public rather disconcerning.

oh and Gav if ur reading this please call/message me cos i lost ur number.

Anyway, it's 6pm and i'm in some weird net cafe on newtown spending my time, i bought a skinny-squirrel thing for winter, "is it a gerbil?" i ask and the lady looks up and pauses, and pauses and then says, "i don't think so, what does it say?"
Anyway, i received an imaginary email from a John, no not one of those johns but an imaginary one with imginary hair. He seeks advice.

"dear flotis,

i know that's not your name but since i'm not real i assume you're not either so i wont get too personal with the greeting.
I've emailed you to ask for some advice as i have read your blog and found it to be immensly informative and deeply moving in an unrealistic way.
You see, i've been dating a guy recently, for about 6months but we havent done anything or said anything to each other however i think we're a couple because, i think it to be. I wondered out of your infinte wisdom could you advise me what to do to make it more offical, more you know, intensity.
Thanks.

John. "

Well John, thank you for emailing me, i'm most flattered.
In my years of experience i have come to the conclusion that it is sometimes best not to ask too many questions and to just do what your heart tells you to. Go for your instincs, if you want to have sex with him in the middle of peak hour traffic then just do it, don't ask, don't fret. However, be sure to wear something fabulous because you never know when you will be filmed and those speed cameras are always present so look gorgeous . Oh and be sure to wear fantastic shoes, you never know when your legs will be higher than your head.
Good luck all the best.

oh and one secret i have is to make sure your shoes are well polished so the light reflects and becomes your mini-spotlight.

"So hot you could cook a cassarole on the head of a penis" someone once said.
So what do i do? go watch a movie.
Headed out to Dendy and watched A guide to recognising your saints , what a brilliant title.
Run of the mill storyline, father-son-issues, mistakes of youth, alot of angst and Tatum channing without a shirt looking hot.
I found the direction abit cliche , i even rolled my eyes round at some scenes.
However it was about the story and that it did very well, the acting not-bad too, i was surprised. I guess we could all relate to the story, boy grows up in rough area wanting to get out, goes and comes back years later to deal with times cruel hand. Abit of a teary movie, i found myself with eyelash-stuck-in-my-eye moments, ah.. sometimes you got to cry it out, atleast it was in a dark cinema with 6 people sparsly scattered unlike that brokeback mountain movie with pete, gawd, more gays packed in a cinema than free-entry at a bathhouse sweetie.
I'm thinking what i could do tomorrow since i have the day off, another movie? Borat is being released or shopping or a facial. I don't know...

Gonna try and be busy till 7ish, dinner with Gav.

You should go read Johnny Hazzards blog, it's umm.....enlightening.
It's warm again more befitting the spring/summer season.Not much has happened except for some dvd purchases, David Bowies ziggy stardust concert and petshopboys documentary which took me back to when i first heard 'westend girls' on the radio. I don't think i had pubic hair back then.. it seemed such a long time.
Work dramas but then what else is new, i just keep out of it and smile and nod to the usual muted distain.
I popped into an Apple computer store in the city on friday, i just adore the 24inch imac, it's so big! and the resolution so clear and bright.
Saw a lovely cargo-bag at funkis, the swedish concept store.
I may buy it.
You see my dear friend nick said to me lastweek he was surviving on $50 spending money a week.
I thought that was absurd, how can anyone get by with $50 a week, a moderate lunch goes for more than $50 however in some ways it has inspired me to cut back on my expenditure . So i thought could i survive on $50 and tried to this week, i managed on $150 but that was quite a cut. I did wall cafe instead of Forbes and burton, had coffee at bookshop instead of latteria,. not that they're that expensive, turned down the Louis vuitton coin purse.
However i did get a manicure and footspa treatment called of all things 'foot de-paris'.
If i didin't give into that weakness i would have made it by with $50.
I'm playing petshopboys latest offering 'minimal' on constant rotation.
However here's Paninaro, the song i first danced to in a gay club, well only one i can remember back them, i was 16? and very thin in tight black singlet and versace cotton/lyrca knit pants that left very little to the imagination.

Bored and cold.
Summer pissed off behind a cloud of white bloody christmas.
Abit of work, feeling very bored, i want to paint i want write however there is the reality of work .
Watched old pet shop boys videos, brought back memories, good times, less worry and stress the biggest deal was having enough time to change from daywear to evening.
Now we're merely treading in a sea of anticipation.

Private health insurance seems enticing and a burberry trenchcoat to hide from the world.

Boredom is time masturbating.

Had my friday off at forbes and burton. Amy couldn't make it but i did catch up with Zoe and her kiddies, augustine and saffron, on her way to the blue mountains for some meditation. Tara was there and immediately got me a drink, "drink?"
"why , yes tara!"

Had a peculiar baramundi fillet on a laksa base. It really didin't need the laksa base .
But it was lovely to be able to enjoy my 'long-lunch' friday.
And then i went shopping.
There was the usual, pastel soft-shaped 80's dayglo t-shirts, singlets and ridiculous tooth-pick jeans. And then i saw one that wasn't too skinny on the leg but still in that new-age shape of, ultra-thin. There's a fine line between toothpick and thin-legged but we swapped weightloss options at white-picket-fence and bitched about fashion.
"i thought i would go on lite-and-easy cos they deliever to your door but they rejected me at the inital consultation, said i was too thin!"
I suggested stomache-stapling and bought the skinny jeans.
Then coffee at latteria and some heavy smokes. I don't know where the chinese woman got these cigarillos from but, i nearly passed out whilst purched on a bongo drum.

Then today at work, i cleaned all the cupboards and went home 2hrs early, i wasn't in the mood and it was so lovely and sunny outside all the boys heading out to bondi beach... i just wasn't in the mood walking away , haughty and throwing attitude with my 'nobody gives a shit' badge.

12.11.06 sunday update. 9pm

Oh i had so much fun, drinks with amy and nick on the balcony of the Tilbury despite the monotonous dj mix of music which lacked any character but a bottle of wine and life is good.
We caught up with things, talked about gorgeous things, amy got shit-face drunk at the L.V. party and dropped all the contents from handbag onto the floor! nick is going through detox, no drinking and rolling tobacco because it makes him smoke less but tonight he drank.
The sunset over sydney sky line was magical, distant fireworks and the smell of the sea just meters away.
I met up with John earlier on and did Glebe, Le petit frois or something, that chocolate cafe Pete so much loves (it was packed) and we had coffee at upstairs connected-cafe, had this gorgeous south american waiter, gorgeous and..south american, although he could be spanish but who cares.
He was gorgeous.
We talked and laughed with his flatmate and his new boy some young, boy in the throes of a dior-sunglasses moment. Young people have such an interesting perspective on fashion.
Before, we had a lovely brunch at this pub-come-cafe nearby, the food was crap but had this lovely young student jazz band playing so it was nice to experience, studenty-crap-food-but-lovely-retro interior. I felt all studenty, chippendale is changing, all be it slowly.
I helped fold bedsheets and sat on a hairy sofa before i disappeared over to latteria for coffee and meeting up with Amy and nick.
Such a busy social sunday i feel quite satisfied.

I think this week ought to be quiet which means i can catch-up with Amy on friday.
We'll do Forbes and Burton and get hideously drunk sliding off the beechwood chairs onto post-modernist concrete floors.
Caught up with John on the weekend for coffee and cakes at Latteria, boy i miss that place, so pretentious yet laughing at itself. We hit David jones and Myer after, he tried on this DKNY suit which just didn't work and i kept umming and ahhing about cargo pants. Mens common-clothes seem to have come down in price, i mean really for that trash it ought to be under $50 but for some weird reason they were trying to flog it off round $60.
I don't mind some generic basics, one of my favourite pieces is a pair of linen pants from god-forbid giordano. Easy to wear in hot weather.
I'm not all about labels.
One of my worse pieces is a military inspired collarless shirt by Gucci which looks like a confused kaftan when i wear it.
I've never worn it out, i don't know how to bloody wear it besides lounging round in an apartment with no pants on.
I got some anime movies today, 'wicked city' which is supposedly sexually and violently explicit, yes there's sex and violence but then it is manga , also i got 'Blood, the last vampire' which i seen before but had to get it for only $12.
I've got to get out of this spending loop i've always encircled. I pounced into Longchamp on tuesday eyeing a fabulous multi-zip bag which u can change it's size by unzipping it into sections but i refrained and walked on by.
I do however want a sailors sling-duffle bag. Louis vuittton does one but there must be others and then on Tuesday night C. showed me her new Allegra versace sized handbag (pre-weight gain). God i love Allegra, so thin she makes the models who wear her named-clothes look like heffers. C. managed to fit a mobile phone, purse, keys, ipod mini full sized lipgloss in it!! i was in awe at the orrange-mont' as i had my huge messenger bag and all i had in it was L.V organiser , ipod nano and sunglasses darlings.
Maybe i need a smaller bag instead of some huge armed-forces duffle bag?
I don't like carry-alls as u can't put them round the shoulder, i need my fingers free for shopping.
And no more backpacks!
I decided to not replace my Prada one, i need to re-group and focus on what size is best suited to my lifestyle. You know bigger isn't always better and too small renders things, ineffectual.
Just like men really.

Even more work! To think this week was going to settle down so i can reclaim my cafe days ended up with more intensity

We have a new girl starting up next week so i might get a break next week, oh how i miss Latteria and long blacks whose strength is in the girth of arabica and banana bread! fat upon fat with more, fat.

Anyway, i bought an ipod nano out of sheer fustration and an incident on tuesday in an elongated bus to drummoyne. So there i was bouncing along a new airconditioned statetransit bus with a delightful driver and strange french woman in gypsy shawl berating her sister about not getting butter.
"but you didn't get real butter. Just this margaret-in-a-tin sheeet!"
"this sheeet!"
She waves the container of margerine in the air.
she kept going on about it with her sister grumbling in french but some hare krishna mantra started to play on my diskman so i decided to change disks to Enrique eglasis. I swear that boy just make me ooze precum on public transport, he's so hot! songs..omg! too much sexiness.
So with one swift hand to bag action i open the diskman and took disk out and tried to load in new disk, you know u can do it when you've done it so many times
All of a sudden the bus swerves round a bend and my enrique eglasis disk flies off my fingers , hits the frenchwomans shoulder and spins onto the floor all the way to the front of the bus.
"Sheeeeet!"
I go running after it, the bus straightens up so i go flying on the floor front first , someone screams, the bus driver hits the brakes and i go sliding down to the front stopping at the special high-chair for special people which so happens to be occupied by a man with coke bottle glasses and wearing an australian flag sun visor with dribble stains on his "i'm Australian" t-shirt.
He just looks at me.
I look up at mr bus driver, he isn't happy, everyone is giggling or gasping... i pick myself off the floor with my enrique eglasis cd.
Bus driver turns to me and goes " i hope it's worth it"
and i'm all flusted trying to look calm but really, my hair was a mess
"..yes, it's enrique eglasis"
Sometimes you just got to laugh.. i walked back to my seat giggling .

So on wednesday i went and bought an ipod nano and today i went and bought a protective skin which looks like a light blue condom and tomorrow i'll go and buy myself some dignity at victorias bloody basement.

This sunday i spent on boat frollicing along the harbour waves at sunset. The view was quite spectacular, the boat was abit old , the crowd, older however all i wanted to do was switch off , have a drink and smoke.
My boss came up with a fundraiser for some children in brazil, to build a house and give bicycles to the kiddies at christmas.
If it wasn't for all the loopy old people desperate for someone to listen to their sob-stories it almost was perfect. But then should have expected anything more?
Vodka was cheap though so i had 4hours worth, yes the whole cruise was for 4hrs .
Anyway i'm glad that was over, any notion of romance disapated when i viewed the merchandise waiting on the warf.
I'd rather drink a bowl of diarreoh than entertain anything romantic with any of those geriatrics.
One interesting thing did happen, a small scottish terrier humped a womans leg on board. She had to go outside to get some fresh air.

I stayed on the upper deck where the view was 360 and u can smoke.

I don't know, may be i am getting old, more of reality than some glib line. I just want to sit down now rather than jump round in a club, i just want to slow time down for a bit rather trying to fastforwarding the years away with new experiences. Everything is a new experience, experiences witihn experiences so there is no need to chase rainbows just more luxurious purchases.

"So what did you do on sunday?"
I was perplexed, i must have done something, oh that's right, after rumaging through my bag and diary, i er, did nothing.
Cataloguing your mp3s is more of a desperation move i think, anyway this week has been busy with work but i did manage to meet up with John be it for 10minutes in the pitt street mall as i was heading down from L.V.
I wanted to get that GROOM coin wallet thing but ended up talking to a very nervous and incomprehensive russian girl . If she had an attitude the russian accent would have gone down quite well, sort of Ivana trump meets an embryo but she was all over the place and left me standing for 20minutes as she went through all the dust covers. She couldn't find it.
"Oh, they've sold out... hello there!" david chorused as he waltzed round the counter. How anyone could waltz round a counter at 8:30pm is beyond me but he had the answers and the russian girl broke out in a sweat and i looked very let down.
So i was put on a reservation list before i could protest, hesitate, intiate the deep-lux-no-logo mantra. A reservation list for a coin purse.
What has the world come to.
Talking about the world in general, you may have realised i rarely write about social and current affairs . I don't do so because there is plenty of media-whores who write opinion as fact and i don't need to repeat histories pages.
I don't watch television and the only information i get is 2minutes news radio update once in a while. I think it's best to detach yourself from the media .
When you delve deeper in why certain news items get the angle and coverage they get you realise that, it's very unfair and dictated and edited by people who have an interest in how the news item is directed.
You see, there is no free speech despite what many believe .
Media is a business and any story/news item is governed by the red-pen that is, money.
You wont get any adverse reportage on a major advertiser.
Even the free-speech we believe we practise in our own lives is but, edited and controlled by what society deems acceptable and what ones social circle deems acceptable. For example, i don't swear infront of my parents.
I choose not to out of respect for them but this descision is in itself contrary to freedom of speech.
The freedom to surpress speech is not the same as freedom of speech as one is done before speech is expressed the latter has no pre-thought.
True freedom of speech is not pre-judged nor post judged , it is in a sense the stream of consciousness.
Another example is if i was alone with that boxer in the above photo i wouldn't have any self editorial processors and just sexually abuse him with a quilted lambs-skin Chanel handbag and my tongue.
Anyway.
Met up with gorgeous Gav who seems to pack as much as possible in his free time.
He took me to this strange korean place behind some shops in an area i tend not to frequent. It was kind of dangerous and fun a the same time. I loved how none of the staff there could speak english and the interior seemed like you were swallowed by a mint-slice.
The food was nice.
We wandered up to taylors square. Gaslight was full of emo kids with assymetric haircuts, i felt like hitting someone so we left over to the bently bar which made us feel twice as old than we should be but i got my drink so i was happy for the night.
I needed that drink and meeting gav again, it's been non-stop-work-mode for me all week, the pointless chit-chat (oh i love your hair is a usual thing i say to people who ...well.. have nothing else pleasant about them) it was a relief to speak to someone real for a change.
I should however make the effort in going to the north shore and visit gavs place, the flat with no balcony.
I'm such a lazy arse.
I'm suppose to go out today and meet up with John to give back that dvd and have coffee etc, but i'm feeling lazy, actually i might just paint abit

On gay.com tonight.....

jmells: hey mate
flotiz: geez... u look like ur in the movie...the ring
jmells: hahahah
flotiz: atleast its orignal
flotiz: how u been
jmells: how do u do
jmells: yeah not too bad now after long day
jmells: how about u
jmells: wat do u up to now
flotiz: eh
flotiz: im just typing
flotiz: quiet day off for me.. workin tomorrow
though
jmells: work in the hotel or s'thing>
flotiz: LOL
flotiz: push trolley at yum cha
jmells: yum cha always yummy
jmells: so u know the best then
jmells: wat would u recommend>
jmells has been added to your persistent ignore
list

So my options are...hotel worker and the s'thing !!!!!!!!!

You do realise when one cleans and organise ones bedroom it becomes twice as big. I'm so glad i got that out of the way with a week of work just past even my days off had to be organised with Hair re-colour, clean/organise bedroom , refile mp3 into keep or archive. I made a playlist for an mp3 player as you have limited amount of storage and discovered i could put it all onto compact disk anyway, 700megs of space is quite a lot actually. So instead of purchasing a 60gig ipod and dumping all the songs into it only to listen to 40 percent of the music anyway i just burnt the ones i liked to disk and staying with my diskman. I'll play old-school for a while as i'm looking at a Longchamp purchase, soon.
Longchamp has been very quiet until they got Kate moss to do their advertising campaign, that's the power of the woman, one advert. and your product is on everyones lips.
I want quality without the glare, i'm so over bling.
As Bubbles devere once said "why don't take a photo, it'll last longer!"
I'm going to erase all sense of designer-baroque into one slick statement, deep-lux.
Get rid of those logos and palladium-plated hardware, hastily stuck on signage and usher in a new era of haute quality components , "cushioned-pressence".
Black is banned, grey and blue is the new eclipse white is the new step-forward aura.
If i see anyone wearing a " H " buckle Hermes belt i will chase them down and throw dirt at their crotch.
I ate an apple for lunch on friday and walked home the longway, it was the begining of my weight-managment. I had soup (no bread) on saturday and lots and lots of water. Although i did have some english-tea cake and chocolate today hehehehe... i think i'm doing ok. I just want to lose the fat round my stomach and found water if consumed in large amounts does keep u full.
I haven't smoked nor drunk alcohol for 2 weeks now (i think) so maybe this is the new me however the increase in workload may push me over the edge and back into bad habits again.
Muslei is my new snackfood, it's not easy but i'm determined to make belts a neccessary part of my wardrobe again.
Staying focused is my word de-jour.

and slim is in!! God damn it.

work ,work possibly an ipod nano but realised you can't share mp3 between o/s systems and other peoples, mp3s .
I owned the first generation ipod which was bulky comppared to the ones nowadays but it was quite handy and worked well but went back to the sony diskman. Unfortunately there's no other mp3 players look or have the same ergonmic ease of use. Oh well, maybe a new nano.

One of the wheels on my home gym machine thing broke! either i'm too heavy or i been using it too much. Anyway, i'm trying to cut back on my french cakes, just one pastry on tuesday and stick to salad and fish.
I can't believe my waistline, it just gets wider and wider, i swear it's water! or that ramen thing i ate with Gav! or the seaseme ice cream i ate afterwards hehehe
Anyway, all i been doing this week is watching dvds and shopping for storage management , freedom has gorgeous island-woven basket things.... i believe we ought to bring more organic fibres into the home.

I adore the new Palmers cocoa butter with alpha/beta hydroxy acids. You get the nourishment of the butter without the stickiness plus your skin gets exfoliated whilst you sleep. And it smells very yummy, very lickable! hehehe..like the boy above.. hmmm

Friday - I had ramen and ice cream with Gav on friday after a day of shopping at Burberry and Louis vuitton and drinks with John.
Had a great time stuffing myself with so much food and it was a sexy 30'c so the city was smelling like sex.
Sort of.

Saturday - Work then dads birthday dinner. We ate hideous amounts of once live crustaceans and tropical fish with mouths gaping and then a coconut and almond milk sweet laced with red beans and sago balls. Ofcourse this resulted in indegestion all night so no sleeping , i watched 'project runway (via dvd from John) till 4am.

Sunday - Stumbled about in the morning back into Burberry to change the shirt . My father is fat.
So we spent an hour or two going through options, poor Nick however i think dads happy with the shirt he got . Next time, i'm just going to give him money.
Then we went round the city, mum got abit excited ar Salvatore ferragamo, had to usher he out before anymore damage could be done! Love the cute Swarovski baby animals, i was able to pick out the ones we ate last night. Anyway so cute.
Had lunch at Queen Vic. a bloody steak sandwich. Soon my waistline will rival my fathers.
Popped into Harnn & Thann for some gorgeous bath products.

I've been in shopping mode (again) lately, i guess that's my vice considering i don't do drugs or revolve round that 'hook-up sex' thing anymore. Kind of found it boring having sex with so many people yet i don't even remember their names. Ended up calling all the boys 'stud' or 'horse' or something mildy flattering.
Whatever.

I've been reading another person blog recently, i wont say who but they have met another blogger and well, it kind of ended in awkwardness . I guess because what we read on here is open to interpretation ofwhich varies greatly. What you see may not be what i see.
But it is great when you come across someone who is as down to earth and honest as this boy it restores some faith in the system.

By the way, why do people get intimidated going into shops like Louis vuitton and Gucci etc???? first of all they are shops that sell things, clothes, leather goods etc etc.. you have the right to go and browse, you are the customer and you pay their wages if you're buying. I'm often puzzled by surprise from friends about me going to those places. Some are too scared to go in, some get defensive about it but really it's insecurity they showing.
It doesn't matter what you wear or how you look, it's all about...attitude.

Walk in there like you own their ass and walk out with your head high.

Ms Peachez gets a tattoo.



Work, family, dinner.

I got abit drunk at the family dinner and said something very inappropriate to one of my cousins girlfriend.

ME - "isn't she abit young? has she hit puberty yet?

Cousin - "she's 21"

ME "YER? really? she's got small tits"

And the room fell silent.

Then apprently i tried to quantify my statement by pointing at her...er... breasts, " see they are sooo small"

I;m sure i didn't mean it in a unfriendly-sexual way , just pointing out the facts.

Anyway back to Ms peachez.

"Do I have to change my name?
Will it get me far?
Should I lose some weight?
Am I gonna be a star?"

The man with the ugly shirt was difficult on thursday not that he was being, more so because i was feeling unwell. I haven't really struggled through 3 hrs of needle-poking for a while, once it was at the main clinic which is like home to me so there were plenty of paracetamol , asprin (weeee!) and ibuprofen to keep your mind off it. Had a chat with ms no-poop about her water-phobia. No wonder she doesn't poop.
Tried to chat to L. but you know, it's not easy to illuminate a room with a lamp that has no bulb. And N. waltzed in, confused the hell out of all of us and waltzed back out again.
Anyway i'm so glad that day is over and slept hideous amounts, read a book or two and felt extremely horny.
Strange when i feel at my worst i suddenly feel aroused, i hope it's not some subconscious-repressed-psychosexual disfunction darlings.
Well, more aroused than usual i guess, not that i don't feel it most of the time, not that i'm constantly. I remember one guy i dated who needed to "unload" 6 times a day. Eventhough i was happy to assist 6 times everyday got tedious and really became nothing more than mechanical.
I had to sit down eventually.
I'm contemplating a PDA just as the new Louis vuitton 2007 refills have arrived and those Burberry polos that fit so well as if they used my body as a template. The punk-rock studded belts coming over from London, soon will entwine my waistline.
I thought if i buy a PDA i would have to by a new bag to carry it and do i want carry a bag in summer?
Do i need anything really?
No, i have more than i need. and i can't even argue the notion of 'better' things as i have that too.
I'm pretty lucky for someone who once lived in an orphanage.
Sometimes i think what may have happened to all the others who were there waiting, wondering, wishing, dreaming.
Little faces in a starless sky.
It is at those moments of contemplation, fissues of vunerability that i learn the art of forgetting.

Get intouch with your blaque side.

Where do i begin?
It started with a bottle of vodka and ended with a couple more, sunday...it's only a real sunday when there's a public holiday on the monday. It all makes sense.
Spent several hours trying on clothes for a sunday coffee/brunch because nothing fuckin fits!! i'm fat, all over. fat,fat,fat.. anyway i had to settle for something black and simple because i knew later on in the evening i would be smashed and food will fall on my belly, oh is that a catapiller on your tummy or.. oh, it's a noodle.
So after a few poses and coffees and such i met up with Gav and his delightful friend...raj (??) at darlo-bar for drinks. I don't know about you but i got to remember to ask for stolichnya or skyy or something decent because the shit they serve on the sly is nasty!!
The vodka tonic was so nasty i could have used my arse as a LPG refill center.
Nice to sit round, chat with beautiful boys, the intricases of Gav's straight-to-straight-acting-gayness raj's huge almond eyes and my slurring of words.
After that, i headed over to John's for that party.
Quite alot of people came, not many drank, just me, John and nick so we polished off a bottle of mandarin vodka which is deadly because it tastes so sweet and easy done straight.
We ran out of tonic water.
We also had this weird Lychee liquor which was abit strong, typical chinese alcoholics, make a product that in no way can anyone drink let alone asians with that missing enzyme...sheez.
Beers, wine (there was some wine in there somehwere) and lots of gorgeous food like Johns cold-noodle-salad which i thought was devine considering it was his first attempt. San-chow-bow with plasticy hydro-lettuce leaf. Curry soup (gag), pesto bread (double gag) and a marshmellow cake which could only be described as, pitiful. As if a dislexic budgerigar had pecked it into some confused lump.

Drinks! more drinks!

The evening ended with a few vomiting episodes and John, well, having explosive vomitting, as some of us laid motionless on the sofa we couldn't help but giggle at the sound . As if you let out air from an over-inflated balloon.. that sound .. explosive, dramatic! and then his sneezing fit!
God, how we laughed.

I however was quite stable, stumbled home and woke up at 4am with the most horrible hang-over. I forgot to drink more water.

So now, hung over ... i am thoroughly satisfied in my liver-abuse and poor john feeling fine this morning with a touch of ashen-green palor.

I got out of bed early today for some weirdo reason , maybe it's all this pent up fustration but it got me out of the house on my day off at 11am, impressive.
I actually went into work when i first arrived into the city, just to double check yesterdays man-with-ugly shirts bookings if i got them all right and wrote up novembers for him. Then i i hit the shops.
For a long time i wanted new cargo pants but couldn't find anything that worked or fitted so i went into myer to see, i found 2 i liked but when i tried them on, they were huge. Who on earth are that big even at a 'small' they were huge. I felt as though i was a human mop.
Then i did david jones who were clearing out their winter stock, mui mui, jil sandler (still over priced, from 800 to 250 for a basic white T-shirt?) amarni, hugo boss etc.. so many gay guys there, it was gayniverse, i mean really you can drop the attitiude you're only buying sale items.
Couldn't find anything i liked so i wondered round feeling very sad and it is when you're at the bottom of the pit that hope shines through... Burberry.
I went in and clicked my fingers at nick, "i need one of those polos, now!". He just laughed and we climbed the stairs like two fashion-whores gagging at the maxi-posters.
I tried on a few, the cut was perfect but the colours hard... i tried so many on and came to a hushed-chocolate, more flattering to my skin tone. It was fab, and quite a good price, infact i might replace all the ralph lauren polos with new burberry.
Ralph lauren polos are so common these days.
we met up later fo lunch with john at a tiny cafe in the strand, so tiny we could only fit because we're thin.
I poked at my smoked salmon and ate the fish only, left the bread "i'm not eating carbs, too many carbs!!!"

John and i did, amarni (crap) , louis vuitton, i love their huge man bag, so big you could fit nepalese sherpa and this boxy bag which was even bigger, you could fit 2 sherpas and their goats inthere. I made the sales girl model it for us, she was very excited but had chapped lips and you know, that's not a good look. Anyway, after all the talk and excitement i just said "thank you for that" and left !!! hahaha.
I found the old man opening and closing the door abit off puting, they should have a hot young one ,
Their clothe collection was shit, it use to be better.

After all this shopping my feet was exhausted so we climbed down into 'cafe and bar' the underground jazz thing at pitt street. Food's crap, drinks too strong, nasty but the atmosphere is nice, plus they have a lounge to flop on so john and i caught up with happeneigs over a vodka and tonic.

Go and watch VERSACE winter06/07 video if not for the attitude then go watch Donatella try and speak through her coke-fucked nasal passage and lips so big you could put out flames from a burning pot , darling.

But i'll always love Versace, they have taken over the 'high-voltage glamour-sexy" look Tom ford did for Gucci. Poor Tom, now designing perfume and sunglasses and Gucci is a woman in a mid-life crisis.

You know when you think you're being a cunt life in all it's wisdom will show you show who the real cunt is.

So off i set to work... a delicious smoked salmon bagel at kino-cafe then window shopping at myer and david jones, lots of sales...sandler...prada..hugo boss etc etc but i don't like to troll through sale racks.
Then skipped up to work.. quiet day so i just organised things.. looked busy, made small chat with clients, looked fabulous and wafted in an out of the place..made tea for myself and sat back . 2 clients at the end of the day so really... i could make it to the quarter-past train.
However at the last minute as i was about to leave the man with the ugly shirts decides to book for october. The whole bloody month so i had to book him out in the book then write him a card with all the dates..ergh!!! then that done i go and get my bag and knock over a halogen lightbulb, **crash** in little pieces.
So i had to clean that up which resulted in me standing round the train station for 1/2hr very unhappy.
And i'm still single ... not even a look in... not even a wink ... oh wait i did get my arse pinched along oxford street by some drugged out rent boy last week.....woo hooo.... give me a gas oven and a nigella lawson dvd.

Life can be such a cunt!.